The Case of Trains: Casey Jr. versus Animal Kingdom's Wildlife Express Train

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[00:00:34] Eric, have you started recording? Yes, you're excellent, right? Mm-hmm. And here we are. You hearing this is proof that Eric has started recording. What is the recording? The Supreme Resort. Dramatic argument or statement?

[00:01:03] I realize you just got out of the car and I'm sorry. Eric, the most important question for you. What in the fuck is Alamosa and why were you there? Alamosa, that's not even where I was. I was two, well several cities away. Next to that is Blanca and then there's Fort Garland. Alamosa.

[00:01:29] And then there is a place in the middle of nowhere and that's where my father-in-law lives. It was an in-law visit. Yes. Was it a 4th of July in-law visit and blow shit up? Well, it was a 4th of July incident and the only thing that, the only shit that might have blown up was in the toilet. Yeah. Hey you. That's right. That's been happening lately. Me too. Wow. Yeah. I've been surprisingly well composed. Good.

[00:01:57] My little summertime depression combined with apathy combined with poor dietary choices. Chicken wings. Are the dietary choices a result of the aforementioned apathy and depression? Oh, it's all connected. It's all connected. Delightful. And it's not the poor dietary choices that you would imagine. It's more just like forgetting to eat for 12. You've been there before with me. Oh. Hi, listener. Hey. I don't know how much of this needs to be a part of the show.

[00:02:26] I do have a trip report from Branson, Missouri. Oh, yes. I don't know how much of it will anger our listeners, but in the spirit of after hours. Oh, that's right. The other day. And the discussion about bowel movements and the ceaseless nature of how they were. I'm going to start with this picture. An actual picture? I'm looking at maps of Colorado right now. Oh, hello.

[00:02:56] Ooh. Branson. Nope. Nope. That's Vildberg. No. Herning, Denmark. Ooh, Denmark. What time of day would you guess this picture was taken? This time of year, 11 PM. 11 PM. Woo. Very well done. At what time of day would you guess that this picture was taken? Dan. Oh, God. Okay. That the last one was 11 PM. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:03:26] I'm going to say 2 AM. 3.59. Ooh. 3.59 AM. Nice. The sun never officially went down, but I was at 3.59 waiting for my taxi to take me to the airport to fly to another airport to fly home. Mm-hmm. And 36 hours later, I was in Salt Lake City. Mm-hmm. Somewhere along the line, did I, something not agree with me. And for three consecutive days, I was shitting water. This herring.

[00:03:57] And then I cut my finger. Oh, no. And then I had to go to urgent care, got a band-aid, and then we received Alex from a trip to Philmont, New Mexico, and we made signs for him. Because, you know, in Utah, there are Mormons that are coming back from their missions. And so all their families haven't seen them for two years, and so they make all these signs. Mm-hmm. So we did that. And Dina's sign was my favorite. It said, welcome back from prison. We love you.

[00:04:27] We forgive you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And there were so many people who- Your life is so great. Yeah. There were so many people who liked it. We love you. We forgive you. Like, stopped, like coming out of the airport, or their flights, they would stop and took pictures of the group and all their signs. Mm-hmm. And one person was so amused, they filmed the whole thing, so they got the whole reveal with Alex and everything. That's great. And then I had to get a haircut.

[00:04:54] I had to get a haircut and a shave, and this was the sign out front. Stupid. Wow. Wow. It's Walken's welcome. Wow. That's great. That's great. Eric, where were you again in Colorado? I'm looking at Alamosa right now. Alamosa. So we were, if you head east, northeast, around the mountain there, basically, that's near the Great Sand Dunes National Park. Mm-hmm. I'm seeing a lot of beige. So if you wrap around the other side. Hmm? But you aren't actually sand dunes.

[00:05:25] Oh, really? What was Dan saying at the same time? I said I'm seeing a lot of beige, so I think I'm there. Uh-huh. Yeah. Most of the year. Okay. Where, and then where? High Desert. So you can, but I'm not telling you where my, you can't dox my father-in-law. I don't need the address. I just, okay. Well, is Alamosa the closest city to where? The closest city with a subway. Okay. Do you mean underground transportation or the restaurant chain? The restaurant.

[00:05:53] In the mountains, it's very strange, too. Sometimes it's a monorail. Mm-hmm. So many, so many cities on our road trip had Subway sandwich shops, but they were independent buildings. Ooh. Fancy. In almost every city, it was a Subway sandwich shop. Just the whole building was a subway. Did I ever tell you, either of you or both of you, my, one of my favorite Subway experiences and stories, experiences?

[00:06:21] Go for it while I continue to frantically catch up. Okay. So you know how every chain and error, every whatever has that, that like corporate rule where they're like, okay, as soon as the customer walks past this point, you have to say hello to them. Right? Mm-hmm. And if you don't within a certain amount of time, then we get dinged on the, on the blind check. Right? Yeah.

[00:06:48] I used to work at a mall and in that mall was a food court and I did not work in the food court. I worked at a fancier place called the movie theater. Mm-hmm. And every time, so there was a Subway there and every time I would walk by, not every time, often when I would walk by the Subway, they would say to me, welcome to Subway. And I would like, I would, because I am how I am, I would, so there was something in me

[00:07:17] that wanted to say like, no, no, no, I'm not. And then it occurred to me, oh, there's probably a marking on the floor where their corporate management has said, if a person cross crosses over this imaginary threshold, they are technically in Subway and you have to say, welcome to Subway to them.

[00:07:40] And it occurred to me how dark that must be for them to be just, especially it's on slow times where they're just like sitting there, like just standing there, you know, of course, you know, chopping tomatoes or whatever they do and being like seeing someone walk in and just being like, fuck, and just watching, just watching them cross that threshold.

[00:08:09] Oh, here's another one. Yeah, you've worked, haven't you worked retail, Dan? Uh, I never worked retail. Okay. Just thank you. You've worked customer service. Oh, I've worked. Yes. Lots of customer service. Right. Well, what would you have done? I would have just walked back and forth. It occurred to me, but then I also thought about, cause this job for me that I worked at for

[00:08:36] me was also terrible in its own ways as a lot of, you know, jobs are. Um, and it just occurred to me that like, I can't knowingly do that to them. I w that would be pardon the phrase crossing a line for me. Ha ha. Yeah. I think at most companies that have that policy also have a policy where they can throw a, uh, an under ripe apple at whoever's doing that.

[00:09:05] Mm. Going back. They should. Yes. They should. Yeah. Just a green apple right at the head. Would you like to, Jimmy, I, would you like to hear about Alamosa? Oh, how are your eyes by the way? Oh yeah. Um, are we going to talk about it on the show or? No, I don't know if we need to or not. Oh yeah. Should we acknowledge? We have been off for a while. Or the same as before before? The last time we spoke was when we did the bumpers. Yeah. My eye dilation is exactly the same. Hmm.

[00:09:35] So I see better, but it's cloudy because the dilation. Hmm. But I did drive 3000 miles and I could see fine. So it sucks. It's frustrating because in bright places I have to wear glasses like at all times, whether it's indoors or for glasses outdoors, after we're sunglasses, because otherwise it's just uncomfortable.

[00:09:58] And is this just like the new normal or is it going to get one doctor said it should go away after a couple months. One doctor said, welcome to your life. Now this is the way it is, but it's, it's trauma from the surgery. So, but I have to get a cataract surgery in that eye. Hmm. Um, so I don't know. I just, I've been, I've just checked out for the last three weeks and just hoping it'll just go away. Right.

[00:10:27] Um, but now I'm losing hearing in my left ear and I think that that might be from roller coasters and being old. I don't know. But anyway, thank you for asking. Um, I did read about Alamosa and my time waiting for Eric to arrive from said place. And fortunately that's not where he was. So it's irrelevant. Did you read about the purple pig pizzeria and pub? What? I did not. Okay. I need to find that. Uh, reviews.

[00:10:54] Rafael was our server, but had an amazing attitude. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, uh, business, business timeout business. Welcome to subway. Um, Dan, did you, you said you sent me. Hmm. Let me know you the sound. Okay. Did you also send me a patriotic music or do I have to go into the real archives for the patriotic music? Um, if it's on my computer, I can possibly find it. So you want the old, I don't know if it is.

[00:11:22] You want the old, was that, did JR do that for us? The golden dreams. Oh, not golden dreams. Oh, that one. Oh, I can find that one. Yeah. Oh, for our closing arguments. I'm emailing you the Jimmy's point sound right now. Well, I mean, it makes sense that paid the patriotic music that JR did doesn't make sense for this episode. Correct. Correct. There is nothing. Well, there's plenty patriotic about a train. Sure. Let me see.

[00:11:49] I might also, if we both look, one of us will find it eventually. Okay. Um, yes, you may carry on. If you send me your, your new point. Uh, hold on. Uh, audio. Um, my, my file system on my computer is. Oh, I've been meaning to redo mine for a while. Especially hold on. I might've found it.

[00:12:14] Oh, it's playing on my other speakers. Perfect. Oh no, it's not. Um, let me officially scrub this up to make it not a goddamn nightmare for the balance. Oh, good. What do you mean?

[00:12:44] I mean, I do. I, I, yeah, if it's too far off base, then the balance doesn't work. I mean, there's not a lot that can be done there, but I, I, at least I could dodge it before I run the, um, the sound balancing. Well, I, I, yeah, but I liked that. It kind of sneaks in, you know, I'm just going to take a little bit of it. Oh, I, yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah. I'm going to take a little bit of the front tail off of it. Uh, export audio. What, what do you want me to call it?

[00:13:13] So it is easy to find. Um, uh, I don't know. Golden dreams. Yeah. You know what? That would, that would do it. That would do it. That's what it's called. Cause whenever you say play the patriotic music, I'm like, we've got, we've got so much. Well, okay. Just in case we want to reference it in the show. I don't think golden dreams, let's call it. Um, closing argument.

[00:13:44] Um, closing arguments. Good. Or prepared statement. Oh my goodness. Because closing argument is something that we actually say, and we sometimes semantically will like confuse each other when we're in the middle of the show. True. Did you prepare a closing argument, Eric? No, I, we never close. We never close. Closing argument.

[00:14:15] We just started for a little while. Only I do that. Okay. Or one of us gives up. Uh, I'm going to say special statement or if you want, let's do closing argument. They don't have to know what it's called. Well, just in case, just in case one of us wants to ask for it or Eric wants to pull it up. Closing argument. I suppose. G D closing argument. The God damn closing argument.

[00:14:46] Yes. Good. I do already have the sound I was going to cut anyway, which isn't funny at all, but it's great. Um, Eric, I'm going to. Jimmy, did you send me a point? Uh, Dan's emailing. I just did. Oh, that is Dan. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It doesn't matter. Uh, Oh, Oh, I thought that was his prerogative as judge to cut us off and say, it doesn't matter. No, that's my side. That's my sound. It doesn't matter. Oh, okay. Everything matters. That's my problem.

[00:15:14] Um, where is it? There it is. GD closing argument. Eric, I'm going to send you the email right now. Okay. I, yeah, I thought we were, we were exploring new territory of judgery. Okay. Anyway, there it is. There's a Raphael's a server. He has an amazing attitude and made our dining experience even more awesome. Your portions are big and so freaking yummy. If you, if you leave there hungry, shame on you. Okay.

[00:15:43] Why did they tell the owners of the establishment that if they leave there hungry, shame on them? Well, because they should be eating all of the leftovers. That's actually true. Pulling them out of the trash. Because that's wasteful up there. It is wasteful. In the high desert. Uh, did, did you visit the fryer's fork? No, we wanted to visit that. It's in an old church. Would you like to hear about it? Yes, please. Okay. Some of their popular favorites are lasagna and I'm looking at a picture of it.

[00:16:11] Uh, would you like me to describe what lasagna is based on the picture? Yes, please. Okay. Based on the picture, it looks like, um, perhaps fillets of some kind. Ooh. A slice of meat, you say? Um, maybe bread, possibly bread. It looks like maybe they're, uh, like it's maybe an eggplant, possibly some cheese. I think cheese is involved.

[00:16:41] And then. What's this called? A lot of blood on top of it. Oh yeah. Yeah. Uh, and then like, that's the fryer's fork. Finally. It's in a cool looking old church, but maybe not so cool inside the sanctuary. Like little pieces of tissue paper on top. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's no, that, that looks more like coconut shavings. That's true. Oh, not cheese. Coconut. Okay. The bread that you're seeing, I think is hash browns. Oh, okay. Yes.

[00:17:10] That would account for the parts that look like cheese. Okay. So hash browns, blood, and coconut shavings. Would you like me to describe ravioli? Oh my goodness. What happened? I like the little antipasto salad. I'm already regretting going there and we haven't. We're okay. We're not, we, it's not like we live down there. Ravioli appears to be almost like little bean bags or possibly very large, normal size

[00:17:38] bean bags in a giant bowl. They're standing really far back. They've got a ladder. Yeah. Also blood, but it looks like different blood. It's darker. It's darker. Yes. Oh man. More of the coconut shavings. And then like a Christmas tree was sprinkled on top of it. Yeah. They'd look like pine needles for sure. Yeah. Uh, just raw rosemary. Tiramisu is my favorite.

[00:18:04] It's a brownie chocolate brownie with sliced tomatoes on top. Nope. Roasted red pepper. Sorry. And a bowl of garlic. That makes more sense. It's Italian. Yeah. Well, yeah. That's Italian. The Italian brisket. I don't know what, what the accent is in Southwest Colorado. I really don't know. That that's universal. It's a melting pot of society. There's Italian.

[00:18:34] And then there's Italian. Is it, is it close to Utah? Um, it's more close to New Mexico than it is to Utah. Are there videos of this? Well, speaking of videos, I've been watching the, uh, Ryan Trahan, uh, 50 States in 50 days thing. Have you guys heard of that? You know what? My kids watched Georgia. It's, it's, it's as a series. It's good. Oh, okay. But I don't think they're consecutive days.

[00:19:03] I think they are. Cause I was trying to figure that out on account of our recent trip where we did, uh, 14 States in eight days. They're, they're handling it geographically a little bit. Yeah. In an interesting way. But I can kind of see what he's doing. Up and down. Right. Well, they're going, I think they started in Texas and then they went around. Oh, interesting. So I think it was Texas, uh, whatever loser States next to that. And then Nevada.

[00:19:33] And then I think they went to Colorado. Is that right? Am I looking at it? Am I thinking about geography correctly? I mean, those States are fucking big and you want to spend the night in each one. I mean, it's possible. It's possible. Like when the Northeast, it'd be super easy. Like your drive will be an hour before you're in the next state. Right. Well, that, and that's kind of where they are now. So they went Texas to New Mexico. That's like, that's less than a day. Well, it depends on where you start. Like if you started in, you know, I think they went in Antonio.

[00:20:01] And then from there to like, I think Vegas. To hold on. Let me, I'm going to pull up the, uh, by the way, listener, I do know what food is. Okay. So, um, I know how much raw, uh, uh, rosemary you can pour on top of a dish. Okay. I do also want to get started recording sooner than later.

[00:20:26] And I want to tell Arizona and then Mexico, Nevada, then Utah, excuse me, Utah, Colorado, uh, Oklahoma or Kansas, Oklahoma. Uh, uh, tracks are Kansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida.

[00:20:55] Oh, that way. And then they went to South Carolina. Well, that's a, that's a direction. Then I'm going off memory here. Then Georgia, then Tennessee, I think. Then, uh, North Carolina. That makes sense.

[00:21:25] Then, or wait, Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia. But then they'd have to go across the top. That's really lame and very efficient drive. Well, I think when they, you know, yeah, they did. They went Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, but they went just like right in the little, the ball sack of West Virginia. Yeah. Uh, and Virginia.

[00:21:55] Then I believe Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey. Who is this Ryan Trahan character? He's, um, he's a YouTuber. Um, I have, Oh, I instantly trust him.

[00:22:23] I've learned to appreciate him. He's, he's kind of Mr. Beast adjacent, but he manages to, he has managed to come up with a way to use like his own awkward authenticity to make him less feel like less of a monster. He's a monster than Mr. Beast. He did like all the Disney parks, maybe. No, no, no. He did. He might've, but he did, I think like, he did the, like a penny challenge or something.

[00:22:54] I don't know. I don't know. So, I mean, God bless them. God bless all those YouTubers, but it makes me angry is not the right word. And it's just, it's, you know, they're opportunistic, but like there's this girl named Pearson. And the kind of shit that she gets to do because she's on the internet and has a bunch of followers, it's just maddening, maddening. The kind of shit that she gets to do because she's hot and young. Yeah.

[00:23:23] And has a lot of followers. And it's like, God, that's so sad. Well, it's more jealousy than anything because I want to be a hot young girl too. Don't we all? You've, you've always said that. So, I want to talk about, I want to talk about Silver Dollar City on the show. Okay. And I want to talk about briefly, I want to talk about the road trip. I'm just testing the sounds by the way. All in the, all in the spirit of why we were taking the month off. New Jersey.

[00:23:53] And then, but the one thing I don't want to say on the show is that Branson, Missouri, maybe one of the worst places on the planet. No, we want them to invite us someday. The first, the first thing we came to when we came into Branson was a Trump outlet store. Oh, for all the Trump stuff they don't sell or for all the Trump stuff that they need to make? That's right. That's all the stuff they haven't sold. Okay. Okay.

[00:24:22] On our way out of town, we saw not one, not two, not three, but four Donald Trump retail stores. That is all you need to know about Branson, Missouri. That, that may be more Trump, more abject Trumpism than all the people who. You know what that tells me about Branson, Missouri? I'm sorry. I'm just feeling inspired by the music. Okay.

[00:24:50] That tells me that even though we are in possibly the darkest time in our country's history to some people, what real Americans see is how glorious. Yes. And pure. We're not a music. Donald Trump truly is. There you go. Nailed it. I need a little more juice on this. Hang on. Nailed it. Does this sound right?

[00:25:19] Hey, look, Dan, no tax on tips. What else, what else do you have to worry about? Oh yeah. You want to deduct anything. You know what that's about, right? That's about commission on like hedge funds and stuff. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Because if they reclassify it as a tip, then yeah, that's a lot of sense. That's why there are all these additional rules around it. And everybody's like, yeah, didn't read it.

[00:25:48] And do you know how much money we're giving to ice? A lot. Was it 18 million? Just 2 million? 18,000. $500. A lot more. Hold on. A lot more. Ice. Budget. Under. Underfunded. I prefer crushed ice. Am I right? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Jimmy, one of the, there is a, oh my goodness, where was I?

[00:26:18] Um, well it was around Denver somewhere. Um, there's a, there's a convenience store by a gas station and it's owned by a family that I, I think is, uh, I think they're Korean. Mm hmm. Um, and on the store, they have multiple signs that read, sorry, out of ice. Nice. And I am fairly certain that's not, that's not a, uh, that's not a literal term. That's not about frozen water.

[00:26:47] I don't think it's frozen water. Mm hmm. Um, $170 billion for ice. That tracks. Yeah. Okay. But they won't get taxed on overtime. Right. Yeah. So that's not your point. Is it for, uh, Casey jr. It's this one. I'm you. There we go.

[00:27:17] Yeah. Uh, I mean, I don't know how much it costs, uh, protect the Southern Northern border, but it sounds like maybe we're going to be doing some building of certain sorts of camps. Well, not one, not maybe Dan. Yeah. Um, and, uh, yeah. But you know, if there are stuff, if there are workers and farms and fields and the farmers vouch for them, then they're safe. Right.

[00:27:47] Let's just say that that's true. And you know, the denaturalization stuff. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly how the Nazis did it. Ooh. Hey, we, we looked at the rules. Sorry, buddy. All right. Let's talk about Rafiki's planet watch slash wildlife express slash. Well, that was a fun and exciting adventure. Thank you for joining us.

[00:28:13] Uh, I'm just waiting for the tail end of the theme's music for the Southern reason. I haven't been home since father's day. I haven't been home since father's day. You haven't been home since father's day. Yeah. That was good for the last year.