EarzUp! Halloween Special | Spooky Stories Vol. 5

[00:00:00] This is Amy Poehler.

[00:00:01] My new movie, Disney and Pixar's Inside Out 2,

[00:00:03] is coming to theaters June 14th.

[00:00:05] And it's making me feel joy,

[00:00:07] and sadness,

[00:00:08] and anger.

[00:00:09] Definitely some disgust.

[00:00:10] Gross!

[00:00:10] And I think a little fear.

[00:00:12] But I'm also feeling these new emotions like

[00:00:14] anxiety,

[00:00:15] embarrassment,

[00:00:16] envy,

[00:00:17] and ennui.

[00:00:18] It's what you call the boredom.

[00:00:20] Okay, that one was weird.

[00:00:21] It's gonna be the feel-everything movie of the summer.

[00:00:24] Disney and Pixar's Inside Out 2.

[00:00:25] Rated PG.

[00:00:26] Parental guidance suggested.

[00:00:27] Only in theaters June 14th.

[00:00:29] Get tickets now.

[00:00:33] It's time for the show that brings the magic

[00:00:36] right to your speakers.

[00:00:39] EarzUp!

[00:00:44] What is up everybody?

[00:00:45] Happy Halloween.

[00:00:46] Happy Scary Stories episode, everybody.

[00:00:50] This is our spooky, scary stories.

[00:00:53] I don't think we've alternated the title several times over the years.

[00:00:56] But this is one of my favorite episodes of the year to do

[00:00:58] because we get to sit here and tell spooky stories that we come up with.

[00:01:03] This is our very own creative works.

[00:01:06] Nobody else.

[00:01:07] Better take it and make a script and make a hundred million dollars

[00:01:11] and then accept to sue you over it.

[00:01:13] No, it's absolutely my favorite episode.

[00:01:16] And it's because I always think of,

[00:01:19] are you afraid of the dark?

[00:01:21] No, I'm not.

[00:01:22] No.

[00:01:23] The show.

[00:01:25] This, this, this...

[00:01:26] Yeah, our show.

[00:01:27] But why would I be afraid of the dark?

[00:01:29] I'm a 45 year old man.

[00:01:31] Nickelodeon's Are You Afraid of the Dark is what I'm thinking.

[00:01:33] They have Nickelodeons that are afraid of the dark now?

[00:01:37] That's...

[00:01:37] Oh my goodness.

[00:01:38] Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.

[00:01:42] You guys are annoying.

[00:01:44] But it feels like it's like sitting around a campfire

[00:01:48] and you have to make up a story

[00:01:51] and you have all year to do it,

[00:01:52] but you don't start till two days before the show.

[00:01:55] It's exactly the way it feels.

[00:01:57] Yep.

[00:01:57] Yeah, I finished mine about two hours ago.

[00:02:00] Same.

[00:02:01] I started mine two weeks ago,

[00:02:02] but I did not really start writing it until yesterday.

[00:02:07] It's hard.

[00:02:08] It is tough to do.

[00:02:09] And you think that it's easy when you go through it.

[00:02:12] You're like, well, I mean, it's challenging,

[00:02:13] but, you know, I got plenty of time to do it.

[00:02:16] And this is how I always work.

[00:02:18] If I started a month ago or if I started two days ago,

[00:02:20] which I really did, it would be this.

[00:02:22] Oh no!

[00:02:24] Oh no, he's gone.

[00:02:26] Oh, what a terrifying beginning to this episode.

[00:02:29] We'll take you on a tour.

[00:02:30] So there's my poster for when you saw Night Before Christmas live.

[00:02:36] And Taryn's over there.

[00:02:37] Hi.

[00:02:38] And there's the other side.

[00:02:39] There's the computer.

[00:02:40] Ooh, a computer.

[00:02:45] She's like a circus cat.

[00:02:46] She just she's jumps on everything constantly.

[00:02:50] She's an she's not a nightmare because it's cute and funny.

[00:02:54] She hasn't done anything like disastrous.

[00:02:56] When I do it, you yell at me.

[00:02:58] Like knock over cameras?

[00:03:00] Yeah, when I jump on things.

[00:03:02] Anyway, I forget what I was saying, but that's fine.

[00:03:04] Dottie, sure.

[00:03:05] We're great.

[00:03:06] Yeah.

[00:03:06] Anyway.

[00:03:07] Oh yeah.

[00:03:08] It just takes me forever to do these things.

[00:03:09] And that's just the way it goes because, you know,

[00:03:12] we all have different stuff to do throughout it,

[00:03:13] like lives and work and jobs and, you know,

[00:03:17] kids and pets and whatever.

[00:03:18] Right.

[00:03:18] But at the end of the day, it all comes together.

[00:03:21] And I'm pretty excited about it.

[00:03:22] And this is the first time that I'll really be using.

[00:03:25] I got some AI voices in here.

[00:03:28] Yeah, so because, you know, it's not my pumpkins falling over.

[00:03:35] All right.

[00:03:36] Just start knocking things off the wall.

[00:03:37] It's fine.

[00:03:38] I'm a cat.

[00:03:38] I just knock things over.

[00:03:40] Usually like when I have, you know,

[00:03:42] sometimes my can be like heavy dialogue stuff

[00:03:44] and I get tired of reading it.

[00:03:47] So I was like, you know what?

[00:03:48] Let's just have a I do it.

[00:03:50] Let's have a I help me out.

[00:03:52] You guys can get a break from my voice every now and then.

[00:03:55] That's why the writer's strike was the thing.

[00:03:58] Well, you know what?

[00:03:59] Yes.

[00:04:00] And but to be fair, this was this was an AI model that I trained.

[00:04:05] Oh, I'm not using anybody else's.

[00:04:08] Well, yeah, I think that's part of the concessions.

[00:04:10] I think we're good.

[00:04:11] All right.

[00:04:12] Good.

[00:04:12] OK, good.

[00:04:13] Anyway, welcome to the show, everybody.

[00:04:15] I'm excited about it.

[00:04:15] If you are listening live and you are a patron supporter,

[00:04:18] the link for the secret show is on Patreon.

[00:04:21] So check that out.

[00:04:22] We'll be starting that in about an hour or so.

[00:04:23] I don't know.

[00:04:25] But before we get to the fun, I want to thank our travel partner,

[00:04:29] Concie Ears, you go to concierge.com right now.

[00:04:33] Plan your next trip to the parks.

[00:04:34] That's what Tara and I are finally using it to to go in January.

[00:04:37] Hopefully if that still holds up for us, that timeline holds up.

[00:04:41] But it's been nothing but nothing short of fantastic.

[00:04:45] We have to do nothing.

[00:04:46] I know everything is booked.

[00:04:48] I'm secure in the fact that if there are deals,

[00:04:52] Jimmy, our concierge will hunt them down for us and give them to us for free.

[00:04:57] We don't have to do anything.

[00:04:58] It's not a paid service.

[00:05:00] It's free.

[00:05:02] Jimmy looks after our vacation, hands it over to us with velvet gloves on.

[00:05:05] I think he actually flies over and prints us out a receipt.

[00:05:08] I think that's what happens.

[00:05:09] Wherever he is, he flies over and gives it to us.

[00:05:12] But no, it's been really great.

[00:05:14] And it's nice for the first time not having to worry about

[00:05:18] planning a vacation or or did I forget anything?

[00:05:22] It's not my job anymore.

[00:05:23] It's my virtual assistant.

[00:05:25] Yeah, you know, it's all you've ever wanted.

[00:05:27] It's all I've wanted.

[00:05:28] Just I have an idea.

[00:05:29] Please execute said idea.

[00:05:31] Yes, sir.

[00:05:32] Mr. Petros.

[00:05:33] Anything else, Mr. Petros?

[00:05:35] No, Jimmy, that's fine.

[00:05:37] Thank you.

[00:05:37] It's a dream.

[00:05:38] It's a dream come true.

[00:05:39] Concierge, your dreams come true.

[00:05:42] The tagline I just made up.

[00:05:43] Also, can you can you also add the words magic and enchant?

[00:05:48] Your magic wish your magic dreams have enchanted true.

[00:05:52] That's the way it goes, everybody.

[00:05:54] Anyway, check them out.

[00:05:55] OK, let's get into it, man.

[00:05:56] Let's just let's jump right into this nonsense and and and let's do it.

[00:06:02] Eric, you want to start off, man?

[00:06:03] I would love to start it.

[00:06:05] And let me point out to fans of the show.

[00:06:10] I am on absolutely no muscle relaxers this year.

[00:06:14] So we're in for.

[00:06:18] This is even going to be like.

[00:06:20] I know.

[00:06:22] Yeah, I love it.

[00:06:23] Yeah.

[00:06:24] Oh, well, that's OK.

[00:06:26] OK, well, thank you.

[00:06:28] Thanks for accepting me as I am a man not on muscle relaxers.

[00:06:35] Hey, that's all right.

[00:06:35] You know, if you can't be who we want you to be, be someone else.

[00:06:40] Right.

[00:06:40] OK.

[00:06:41] All right.

[00:06:42] Yes, that's that's the thing.

[00:06:44] That's the poster slogan.

[00:06:46] Right.

[00:06:48] Jeff was a toad man, no doubt.

[00:06:50] This had nothing to do with the band.

[00:06:52] No doubt.

[00:06:53] We're finishing up a set on grad night.

[00:06:56] It was 1995 and this high school grad was ready to party.

[00:07:01] Jeff's jam was Mr.

[00:07:03] Toad's wild ride skanking the entire way from the Tomorrowland Terrace stage.

[00:07:09] Jeff tossed his Coca-Cola cup responsibly into a trash can outside the Matterhorn.

[00:07:15] I hate you.

[00:07:17] This is fantastic.

[00:07:19] Absolutely destroy.

[00:07:20] You've rehearsed this so many times.

[00:07:23] You are honestly doing so good.

[00:07:24] Jason, stop skanking the entire way from the Tomorrowland Terrace stage.

[00:07:30] Jeff tossed his Coca-Cola cup responsibly into a trash can outside the Matterhorn.

[00:07:35] Linda beckoned for him to join the line with her and the gang.

[00:07:39] Oh, Linda, she was a hottie and just Jeff style, except for one thing.

[00:07:45] She loved coasters.

[00:07:47] But Jeff was a toad man.

[00:07:49] No doubt.

[00:07:54] When Jeff passed into Fantasyland, he changed his gate to a normal white guy walking pace

[00:07:59] to show proper respect for the land.

[00:08:02] One does not skank up on toad.

[00:08:05] What luck?

[00:08:06] No, wait.

[00:08:07] Jeff wasn't too surprised, though.

[00:08:09] A fantasy line was pretty, pretty empty except for pan and Dumbo lines.

[00:08:13] It was with great anticipation, though, that Jeff approached stately toad halls front doors.

[00:08:22] Jeff anticipated a board team to be sitting at the controls.

[00:08:25] Instead, an old man beamed back at him.

[00:08:28] Finally, he shouted a fellow fine arts aficionado.

[00:08:33] With that, the old man creaked to his feet and slowly moved to unhook the switchbacks

[00:08:38] chain from the stanchion so Jeff could walk right in.

[00:08:41] He moved so slowly that Jeff could have walked around, but he appreciated the gesture anyway.

[00:08:47] Jeff followed the old man back to the loading point.

[00:08:50] What luck?

[00:08:51] A red toadie car was waiting at the front of the line for him.

[00:08:55] His favorite.

[00:08:57] Of course, the cars were the same, but he still felt a little more kinship with his

[00:09:02] green friend when he got to ride in the red one.

[00:09:06] The lighting in the room cast a slightly sinister gleam on the old man's face.

[00:09:10] Despite his wide smile.

[00:09:12] Have a safe trip.

[00:09:14] The old man wheezed at him.

[00:09:15] He seemed friendly enough with his thick white mustache and wispy hair.

[00:09:20] Maybe those four or five steps had worn him out, but Jeff didn't think he really had time

[00:09:25] to think about it.

[00:09:26] With a jolt forward, disembodied lips cheerfully whistling.

[00:09:31] He was off.

[00:09:32] Toadie crashed around toad hall before heading into the countryside.

[00:09:37] The red car navigated hairpin turns, never slowing for an instant as it passed landmarks

[00:09:43] laid out in painted flats.

[00:09:44] Jeff avoided the police, avoided falling into a river, avoided blowing up in a TNT warehouse.

[00:09:52] He spun through town square, got arrested, still driving, no less, and broke out of prison

[00:09:58] then careened toward his final destination.

[00:10:01] Hell itself.

[00:10:04] Jeff started laughing at the extra warm room, the barrister turned devil and the dragon

[00:10:09] overhead.

[00:10:09] He was giggling as the car came to a stop.

[00:10:13] There was still nobody in line.

[00:10:15] All the cars in front of him were empty.

[00:10:17] Another badger named car swung in behind him.

[00:10:21] And the old man smiled, the light painting his paper skin whiter.

[00:10:26] You made it, he said, as if this was a great feat.

[00:10:30] I kept all the cars moving in case you wanted another run.

[00:10:34] You?

[00:10:36] Yes, this never happened to Jeff.

[00:10:39] He wanted to see his friends, but his friend Toad was right here.

[00:10:43] Why not make another trip through?

[00:10:46] Thanks a lot, mister.

[00:10:48] Toad is my absolute favorite.

[00:10:51] A whirr and an empty car with ratty painted on its hood launched into darkness and the

[00:10:57] line moved forward.

[00:10:59] Oh, I had a feeling about not many kids your age like to ride this ride anymore.

[00:11:06] Another were spun up, a McBadger car lurched.

[00:11:10] I really appreciate it.

[00:11:12] I was going to get back in line anyway.

[00:11:15] Were winky turn around the corner.

[00:11:18] Jeff was right next to the old man now.

[00:11:21] Have you ever ridden Mr. Toad's wild ride in Florida?

[00:11:24] I hear the attraction there is pretty supreme.

[00:11:28] The man had an odd way of speaking.

[00:11:30] Who said supreme like that?

[00:11:33] Have a safe trip.

[00:11:36] The uneasy feeling dissolved instantly.

[00:11:38] Somehow this trip through was even more fun than the last time.

[00:11:43] Toad Hall, Ratty's house, Winky's pub, town square.

[00:11:46] All of it was so vibrant.

[00:11:48] The black lights were really pulling their weight tonight.

[00:11:51] Jeff's hilarious laughs echoed off the plywood sets.

[00:11:55] He grabbed at one of Mr. Winky's beers.

[00:11:57] He shouted as barrels exploded, told the judge that no,

[00:12:01] he was guilty and screamed as the light of impending doom raced at him.

[00:12:07] Were the headlights of the train a little bit blurry?

[00:12:09] Was hell a little bit more warm?

[00:12:13] Every moment was heightened.

[00:12:14] Jeff's head was swimming as he rounded that final corner again.

[00:12:19] You made it.

[00:12:21] And you didn't answer my question.

[00:12:24] Jeff realized the old man's grin never changed.

[00:12:27] A were and ready departed.

[00:12:29] What question?

[00:12:31] Were like Badger.

[00:12:33] Have you ever been to Walt Disney World?

[00:12:35] It's.

[00:12:37] Supreme.

[00:12:39] Were her Winky.

[00:12:41] Did that car have two rows of seats?

[00:12:45] No, sir.

[00:12:47] Jeff wasn't laughing anymore.

[00:12:50] The old man leaned forward.

[00:12:52] Jeff couldn't read his name tag in the dim light.

[00:12:55] Might have read can or Kenneth or something.

[00:12:59] The moment stretched on.

[00:13:01] The old man's finger poised over the launch button.

[00:13:05] You want to try it sometime.

[00:13:07] You love it.

[00:13:10] Seconds passed.

[00:13:12] The old man straightened, still grinning.

[00:13:17] And press the button.

[00:13:19] Cody rolled merrily, merrily, merrily on his way toward nothing in particular at all.

[00:13:24] Jeff have expected it to launch through the wall or something,

[00:13:27] but it was just an old man being weird.

[00:13:29] The unease again faded.

[00:13:32] Jeff rode on through an unprecedented third trip in a row.

[00:13:37] Toad Hall, Countryside, Doc's Warehouse, Winky's Town Square, courtroom.

[00:13:41] Hell wait.

[00:13:43] That wasn't the normal devil, was it?

[00:13:46] Jeff emerged from hell into a burst of humidity.

[00:13:49] The open air to his left was not toad hall.

[00:13:54] But there stood the old man, grinning at the controls.

[00:13:57] You made it.

[00:13:59] Where am I?

[00:14:01] Jeff knew immediately, but you kind of have to ask these sorts of questions aloud sometimes

[00:14:05] to get that thought to sink in.

[00:14:08] Welcome to Mr. Toad's wild ride.

[00:14:11] The old man seemed a bit more sprightly in the humid Florida air.

[00:14:16] Would you like to give it another go?

[00:14:17] We're closed for the night, but I have to run some tests on both tracks.

[00:14:21] Jeff couldn't pass up an offer like that.

[00:14:23] He agreed and the ride lurched into darkness once more.

[00:14:28] He rode both tracks one after the other.

[00:14:31] The attraction had the same bones in Florida that Jeff's ride did, but more.

[00:14:35] Each track was different, heading through a mix of similar and new scenes.

[00:14:39] It looked like if you timed it right,

[00:14:41] you would feel as if you narrowly missed crashing into the other tracks guests in town square.

[00:14:46] Holy crap, there was a painting of a naked lady in Winky's bar.

[00:14:49] Jeff was in heaven as he crossed over into the other loading area for a trip through

[00:14:54] a completely separate track that sure did intersect in town square.

[00:14:59] As the train bore down on him for the fifth time that night,

[00:15:02] he realized he was looking at a devil that he actually knew.

[00:15:07] It was different from the pudgy Satan of Florida's ride.

[00:15:10] He was back home.

[00:15:13] The old man grinned.

[00:15:14] You made it.

[00:15:15] You made it.

[00:15:17] Jeff peppered the old man with questions.

[00:15:20] Apparently, there were rules to this sort of thing.

[00:15:23] Yes, the old man could do it again, but only after the Magic Kingdom in Florida was closed.

[00:15:28] The old man didn't want to get anybody in trouble.

[00:15:30] And no, he would not reveal the secret behind the portal between coasts.

[00:15:35] And Jeff was to tell nobody.

[00:15:38] Also, the old man's name was Kenneth.

[00:15:41] Jeff came back whenever he could.

[00:15:43] He would wait until the crowds were low later at night.

[00:15:46] If the old man was on shift, he would pop in.

[00:15:49] Sometimes he'd just stand off to the side while the ride went and they would talk about Toad

[00:15:54] and the ride itself.

[00:15:56] Kenneth was a font of knowledge about Toad.

[00:15:59] He enjoyed what he called Walt's film, but he enjoyed the books even more.

[00:16:05] Somehow he enjoyed the ride just as much.

[00:16:08] It met the theme of it.

[00:16:10] It met the spirit of it.

[00:16:14] Then it happened.

[00:16:16] Two years had passed and Disney did the unthinkable.

[00:16:20] They announced they were considering putting a Winnie the Pooh attraction in the place of Toad

[00:16:26] in the Magic Kingdom.

[00:16:27] Apparently, that yellow honey swiller sold more merch.

[00:16:32] Jeff and Kenneth met more often from then on.

[00:16:35] Jeff needed to keep up on his fix on this supreme version of Mr. Toad's wild ride.

[00:16:41] Why fly out to join the protests in Florida when he had his own personal portal to the fun?

[00:16:46] Besides, Jeff could tell Disney wasn't going to back down.

[00:16:50] Hell, Kenneth told him they were planning a party for the closing of the Tomorrowland

[00:16:54] subs on the same day that Toad was supposed to close.

[00:16:58] Attractions come, attractions go.

[00:17:00] It's fine.

[00:17:03] Well, September 2nd, 1998.

[00:17:07] Toad fans released information that the ride would close in the Magic Kingdom in only a few

[00:17:13] days on September 8th.

[00:17:14] Jeff had to be there.

[00:17:17] He showed up at Disneyland first thing that morning.

[00:17:20] Running down Main Street, ignoring the scolding cast members, Jeff was determined to get to

[00:17:25] Florida and join in the last day's proceedings.

[00:17:28] Reaching Toad's queue, he shoved past annoyed guests and vaulted the wall between him and

[00:17:33] the confused cast members.

[00:17:35] Jeff shoved a child out of the red car.

[00:17:37] Toadie again, perfection.

[00:17:40] Jeff leaned to his right to activate the ride.

[00:17:42] He didn't know how Kenneth did it, but he would figure it out.

[00:17:47] A frigid hand laid on Jeff's.

[00:17:51] With a start, he realized the room was empty.

[00:17:55] Kenneth stood next to him, dressed in a tweed suit.

[00:17:58] His mustache, hair and dark, his face youthful.

[00:18:03] He spoke with a sophisticated Scottish brogue.

[00:18:05] Glad you don't want to.

[00:18:09] Like hell I don't!

[00:18:10] I have to get there!

[00:18:11] Jeff was never more certain of anything in his life.

[00:18:15] No, son, it's too late.

[00:18:17] They closed the ride yesterday.

[00:18:19] Those internet folks had it wrong.

[00:18:21] Kenneth's prim posture wilted as he said these words.

[00:18:25] Look, I know Disney employs the ghost of The Wind in the Willows author Kenneth Graham at

[00:18:29] Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

[00:18:31] Jeff sighed as if he was bored with this conversation already.

[00:18:34] Just do your thing.

[00:18:35] I have to get back one last time.

[00:18:41] Kenneth's dusty breath fluttered his handlebar mustache.

[00:18:46] All right, son.

[00:18:48] Goodbye.

[00:18:51] The Toadie car lurched forward through the ride once more.

[00:18:54] Toad Hall, Countryside, Docks, Warehouse, Winkies, Town Square, Courtroom.

[00:18:59] The train's headlight bore down on Jeff, blurring his vision once more.

[00:19:03] As the stars faded from his eyes, Jeff saw nothing.

[00:19:08] The car was stopped.

[00:19:09] Seconds slurred by and he realized he wasn't in complete darkness.

[00:19:14] Ahead, the dim shape of a small demon stood, unmoving.

[00:19:18] He leaned forward.

[00:19:19] He could see a blur of light around the corner.

[00:19:23] Faint sounds of a theme park wafted toward him.

[00:19:26] Uh, can anybody help me?

[00:19:28] Jeff asked down the hall.

[00:19:31] A rumble.

[00:19:33] Seriously, I'm in here.

[00:19:36] The rumble changed.

[00:19:37] Machinery moved, but not his car.

[00:19:39] Guys, come on!

[00:19:42] The backhoe's blades crushed a shaft of light from the ceiling.

[00:19:46] It was the last thing Jeff saw as his skull was crushed.

[00:19:51] Jeff floated for a time, but eventually found his way back to consciousness.

[00:19:54] A cheery song was playing, but it wasn't merrily on our way.

[00:19:57] What was it?

[00:19:59] What was he sitting in?

[00:20:00] It was moving through the ride, but...

[00:20:03] No.

[00:20:04] Jeff's eyes focused.

[00:20:06] The yellow bear had his honey.

[00:20:07] It was a celebration.

[00:20:10] Yellow goo was everywhere.

[00:20:11] The honeypot car rounded the corner and the family got out.

[00:20:15] A new family loaded in.

[00:20:17] The ride launched into sickly sweet darkness.

[00:20:20] Sickly sweet darkness.

[00:20:22] Jeff's head swam as the car rolled onward past scene after scene of that plush bastard on a...

[00:20:28] Oh, you're on a blustery day?

[00:20:30] Okay, huh?

[00:20:31] Yeah, must be rough.

[00:20:34] And then he saw it.

[00:20:35] A painting of his toad.

[00:20:37] Kenneth's toad.

[00:20:40] Handing the deed to Toad Hall to one of the bastard's friends, Owl.

[00:20:45] What the hell was that?

[00:20:46] Disney put some tribute to the attraction?

[00:20:49] Replaced by this travesty?

[00:20:51] Before Jeff could register his disgust, the pot rolled off to find Tigger.

[00:20:56] Heffalumps.

[00:20:57] Woozles.

[00:20:58] More bluster.

[00:20:59] Honey.

[00:21:01] The car rounded the final corner.

[00:21:03] Children tumbled out, but not Jeff.

[00:21:06] Children piled in.

[00:21:08] Again, the bluster.

[00:21:11] Painting.

[00:21:12] Tigger.

[00:21:13] Heffalumps.

[00:21:14] Woozles.

[00:21:15] Bluster.

[00:21:17] Honey.

[00:21:18] Again, children.

[00:21:19] Again, the painting.

[00:21:21] Again.

[00:21:23] Children.

[00:21:25] The painting.

[00:21:26] Again.

[00:21:28] Again.

[00:21:30] Again.

[00:21:33] Nice, that was awesome.

[00:21:35] That was good.

[00:21:37] You had me on the edge of my seat.

[00:21:39] Oh, you all thought I was gonna send him to hell, but then I did.

[00:21:45] But then sort of, but kind of.

[00:21:47] Right.

[00:21:47] Also yes.

[00:21:48] Kind of like a purgatory.

[00:21:50] Right.

[00:21:51] So just a full disclosure here.

[00:21:54] We've been working on a Halloween episode for the Supreme Resort

[00:21:58] about Mr. Toad's wild ride for altogether too long.

[00:22:01] Yeah.

[00:22:02] And I based this story off of the actual gentleman, Jeff Moscutt, who

[00:22:12] created the Save the Toad movement in Florida to save Toad when word came out.

[00:22:22] So we've got a whole episode that is based basically, the entire episode is a theme episode.

[00:22:28] We're pretending we're a true crime podcast and we're talking about the death of Toad

[00:22:32] and we're talking about Jeff's movement.

[00:22:35] And I thought it would be a fun tribute to name this character after Jeff,

[00:22:40] even though it's completely the opposite.

[00:22:42] He's a Disneyland guy, but.

[00:22:44] But yeah.

[00:22:45] Good job, Eric.

[00:22:46] Yeah.

[00:22:47] Thank you.

[00:22:48] That's fantastic.

[00:22:49] I got a voicemail today.

[00:22:51] Oh, my goodness.

[00:22:52] Here we go.

[00:22:54] Hey, everyone.

[00:22:55] Sorry I couldn't be there tonight.

[00:22:56] Bev and I have to spend time clipping each other's toenails.

[00:22:59] I hope you all have a great time anyway.

[00:23:01] Time to fire up the chainsaw and get Bev trimmed up more.

[00:23:06] The adrenaline is tight.

[00:23:08] What?

[00:23:09] What happened at the end there?

[00:23:10] Terrence, is he on muscle relaxers?

[00:23:14] I think he had a stroke.

[00:23:16] Maybe play it backwards.

[00:23:17] Yeah, I guess.

[00:23:18] Oh no.

[00:23:19] That was weird.

[00:23:23] That was weird.

[00:23:24] Very spooky.

[00:23:26] Maybe maybe he lost cell service.

[00:23:28] Halloween.

[00:23:29] Yeah, maybe that's what it is.

[00:23:30] Yeah, it must be.

[00:23:31] Oh no, a terrible drop in Verizon.

[00:23:33] Yeah, I don't know, man.

[00:23:35] But anyway, there you go.

[00:23:36] Terrence left the voicemail.

[00:23:37] Okay.

[00:23:38] Um, do you want to go or should I go?

[00:23:40] I can go.

[00:23:41] I know you can.

[00:23:42] Why does everyone say I can?

[00:23:44] You just do you or would you go?

[00:23:45] That's how people say yes, I will go.

[00:23:47] No, they say yes, I will go next.

[00:23:50] Would you like to go next, Terrence?

[00:23:52] Yeah.

[00:23:54] Why don't you go ahead and go next then?

[00:23:55] Okay.

[00:23:57] Just in your own time.

[00:23:58] I'm well, you actually have to start me off.

[00:24:00] I have to start you off?

[00:24:01] All right, tell me when, please.

[00:24:03] Okay, go ahead.

[00:24:04] It might be in German, so I don't.

[00:24:06] Oh God.

[00:24:07] Oh no.

[00:24:08] No, here we go.

[00:24:10] The Disney company expects to announce its most profitable quarter in history

[00:24:14] at the upcoming shareholder meeting.

[00:24:16] And its CEO says it's all thanks to the Emote Plus microchip.

[00:24:20] In the last 10 months, Disney stock has risen by 121 US dollars

[00:24:25] and currently stands at an all-time high of 202.

[00:24:29] Incredible, right?

[00:24:31] Impossible even.

[00:24:32] So how did that happen?

[00:24:34] Well, two years ago, the 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution was passed.

[00:24:40] The amendment was designed to remove the possibility of voter fraud

[00:24:43] by making voting more transparent.

[00:24:46] Almost every major American corporation, including Disney,

[00:24:49] supported the passing of the amendment.

[00:24:51] And it was purposely written to be vague enough

[00:24:53] that both sides of the political spectrum easily agreed to it.

[00:24:57] You may be wondering how in a time when a political party can't even agree

[00:25:00] on who should represent their own party,

[00:25:02] did everyone come together to accept an entirely new amendment?

[00:25:07] Well, within this cleverly worded document was a single phrase

[00:25:10] that would prove to make corporations, who support candidates,

[00:25:13] a lot of money.

[00:25:15] And that changed everything.

[00:25:17] The amendment reads,

[00:25:19] all US citizens will be required to volunteer the viewing

[00:25:22] of their individual physiological reactions and responses

[00:25:25] to any and all situations as agreed to by the US Congress.

[00:25:29] Any and all situations.

[00:25:32] These four words left open the interpretation of this amendment

[00:25:35] to far more than voting transparency.

[00:25:38] This particular phrasing made it a legal requirement

[00:25:41] for every single US citizen to express exactly how they feel

[00:25:45] at any given situation at all time.

[00:25:48] Whether the wording was intended for this purpose or not is unknown,

[00:25:51] but it certainly was a dream for our capitalist environment.

[00:25:55] Corporations would now have insight into their patrons' emotions,

[00:25:59] wants, desires, and could market to them accordingly.

[00:26:02] Because of this, all major corporations were on board

[00:26:05] and money to get this new system off the ground was not an issue.

[00:26:09] So at a speed which seemed impossible,

[00:26:11] software engineers created the microchip,

[00:26:13] FDA approved it,

[00:26:15] and the US Congress centralized, legalized it.

[00:26:18] And within a year,

[00:26:19] all US citizens were mandated to be implanted with the Emote Plus Microchip.

[00:26:25] Emote Plus is an emotional and physiological tracker

[00:26:28] which tracks in real time an array of standard human needs called emotes,

[00:26:33] including hunger, comfort, hygiene, bladder, energy, social, and fun.

[00:26:39] Engineers and scientists worked together to create the microscopic technology

[00:26:42] and the FDA approved it in record time.

[00:26:45] Once implemented, the seven emotes would be tracked

[00:26:47] using a green to red color system.

[00:26:49] Green means that that particular emote is in good standing.

[00:26:53] Yellow or orange means to be aware that this emote may need attention soon

[00:26:57] and red means that emote is excessively low and requires immediate attention.

[00:27:02] The emotes are visible to anyone with a smartwatch

[00:27:04] or for a fee using the Emote Plus eyeglasses

[00:27:08] which provide a holographic view of a person's emotes above their head.

[00:27:11] Think Iron Man.

[00:27:14] And much like having a social security number,

[00:27:16] you can't get a car loan, have a credit card,

[00:27:19] or even borrow a library book if you haven't had the chip inserted into your skin.

[00:27:23] So it didn't take long for most US citizens to oblige.

[00:27:27] Now, even though they cost more than my laptop,

[00:27:30] I did opt to buy the Emote Plus glasses.

[00:27:32] I mean, if I'm going to be forced into this anyway,

[00:27:35] I might as well take full advantage

[00:27:37] of seeing everyone else's emotes clearly and immediately.

[00:27:41] Now admittedly, these glasses do make people watching more fun.

[00:27:45] Now the absolute best place to people watch is Disneyland.

[00:27:49] There's just so much going on.

[00:27:51] You could sit on a bench and watch the emote levels of a kid

[00:27:53] who just tripped drop into the red in a matter of seconds.

[00:27:56] While two feet away,

[00:27:58] a couple's emote levels are maxed out at green because they just got engaged.

[00:28:02] And even more fun is when you see a family trying to have a good time,

[00:28:06] smile on their face, laughing, dancing down Main Street.

[00:28:09] But then you see in the glasses that mom's fun,

[00:28:11] energy, hunger, and bladder levels are all red.

[00:28:14] Poor mom.

[00:28:16] Anyway, it's a great place to hang out.

[00:28:19] It's almost like the glasses are just another attraction.

[00:28:22] Emote Plus came at a great time too.

[00:28:25] Over the last few years, as prices were rising

[00:28:27] and controversial changes took place at the park,

[00:28:30] it started to feel like something was off with the Disney company.

[00:28:34] I mean, even the CEO was clandestinely backdoored out of his job on a Sunday night.

[00:28:40] It started to feel like the company had lost its magic.

[00:28:44] But now something just feels better.

[00:28:47] Now, it was no secret that corporations are using Emote Plus to their advantage

[00:28:52] and it's no different for Disney.

[00:28:54] And last week I felt the slightest hunger ping

[00:28:56] and within seconds a cast member was right there to point to the closest churro cart

[00:29:00] and offer to help make me a reservation for dinner.

[00:29:03] One time I saw a toddler throw up right in front of Crystal Arcade

[00:29:06] and the room and comfort emotes of everyone within 10 feet fell into the red immediately.

[00:29:12] But several cast members were on site within 15 seconds

[00:29:15] offering onlookers front of the line passes to any ride.

[00:29:18] With the ability to see everyone's emotes, it's like everyone gets to be a VIP now.

[00:29:24] It really felt like it brought back the magic.

[00:29:27] When Emote Plus first came out, there were obvious concerns about privacy

[00:29:30] and basically Congress decided that if you pay to be in a place

[00:29:34] or are freely out in public, your emotes are mandated to be visible to all people.

[00:29:39] However, while you are working, while you are being paid to be in a place,

[00:29:44] your emotes will be automatically set to invisible.

[00:29:46] Now I suppose this is a way to both protect employees from being forced to feel happy

[00:29:51] and to entice people to work,

[00:29:53] since it's essentially the only time that your Emote Plus is invisible.

[00:29:57] Work is freedom.

[00:30:01] At Disneyland in particular, a new position was added called a regulator

[00:30:05] whose job it was to monitor guest emotes.

[00:30:08] The regulator office is on the second floor of the main street buildings

[00:30:12] and from this vantage point, along with thousands of cameras across the park,

[00:30:15] the regulators have a bird's eye view of guests,

[00:30:18] which allows them to scan the crowd for any orange or red emotes.

[00:30:22] If a regulator spots a red or near red emote,

[00:30:24] they send a signal to the cast member on the ground to fix it

[00:30:26] and bring levels of that guest back up to green.

[00:30:30] Cast member bonuses are now based on how many guests have green emotes,

[00:30:33] so this system is very important for the business as well as cast members.

[00:30:37] The regulators began to discover trends in guest emotes.

[00:30:41] They would be hungry but not eat.

[00:30:43] Their bladders would be full but they would stay in line.

[00:30:46] Then these choices would make them feel uncomfortable and unhappy.

[00:30:50] This was especially evident in larger groups of people.

[00:30:53] No one wanted to change the course of the group's plans because their feet hurt

[00:30:57] or they were tired or hungry.

[00:30:59] So rather than saying anything,

[00:31:00] they just dealt with it, causing their emotes to turn toward red.

[00:31:04] Then this became a trickle effect

[00:31:05] and regulators witnessed full groups of people with red emotes

[00:31:08] out of the simple human desire to not rock the boat, as it were.

[00:31:13] It appeared that guests needed help expressing what they really wanted.

[00:31:18] It was during the daily morning stand-up meeting

[00:31:20] where Disney executives announced a new process to the regulators.

[00:31:25] We want to make things...

[00:31:27] We want to take things a small step further

[00:31:30] and we know our amazing regulators will be up to the task.

[00:31:33] Rather than waiting to see what the guests need

[00:31:36] and providing that to them,

[00:31:37] we're going to proactively help the guests decide what they need.

[00:31:41] Our amazing team of software imagineers have developed a new software called DreamDirect.

[00:31:46] This technology works in conjunction with EmotePlus

[00:31:49] and can predict, predetermine, and dictate what guests will feel.

[00:31:54] You will not only monitor what guests are emoting

[00:31:57] but will also determine what would be the best emote for them to have at any given moment.

[00:32:02] Now also, because we appreciate each and every one of you regulators,

[00:32:06] we are offering you each an entirely new employment package.

[00:32:10] The Disney company will pay for all of your current and future living requirements.

[00:32:14] You will no longer need to worry about rent, groceries, clothes, education, or health care.

[00:32:19] All entertainment and vacations will be paid for by Disney.

[00:32:23] And don't worry, your salary, which will remain the same,

[00:32:27] and any bonuses incurred during your time as a regulator

[00:32:30] will be put into a trust for you to use at the conclusion of your employment.

[00:32:33] Now this change will result in you each making more than

[00:32:37] double what you did under your previous employment agreement

[00:32:40] and it is our way of showing you our appreciation for what you do each and every day.

[00:32:45] Murmurs spread among the small group of regulators.

[00:32:48] Some quit, not fully understanding these changes, but most stayed on.

[00:32:53] This structural change had benefits for the regulators in the long run

[00:32:56] but it also benefited Disney.

[00:32:58] These employees were no longer being traditionally paid

[00:33:01] and because of that, Disney was now allowed to legally monitor their M.O.s.

[00:33:07] As time went on, the regulators became really great at this new position.

[00:33:10] They had the ability, well not just the ability,

[00:33:13] but they were tasked with controlling the entire operation of the park.

[00:33:17] Using Dream Direct, they could now not only make sure guests remain in the green,

[00:33:20] but they were able to influence what a guest would need to stay green.

[00:33:24] Let's say for instance a guest's hunger levels were inching toward yellow,

[00:33:27] but the restaurant in the near vicinity of the guest was full and crowded.

[00:33:32] A regulator could then adjust their hunger M.O. to remain in the green

[00:33:35] for just a little while longer until that restaurant was less crowded.

[00:33:40] This would provide a less intense working situation for the cast members working

[00:33:43] in the restaurant while providing a more enjoyable

[00:33:45] and frustration-free experience for the guest.

[00:33:48] It's a win-win.

[00:33:50] Now this also works for attraction.

[00:33:52] Let's say Fantasmic starts in 20 minutes

[00:33:54] and a guest is holding a viewing space near Pirates for themselves and their family.

[00:33:59] As they sit there watching everyone pass by,

[00:34:01] their fun social comfort M.O.s start dropping into the orange.

[00:34:05] Now in this situation, the regulators might adjust these three up to yellow or green

[00:34:11] to give the guests the impression that things aren't as bad as they feel,

[00:34:14] then drop that hunger down into the orange

[00:34:17] so that the guest finds the nearest popcorn cart to fill that M.O. back up to green.

[00:34:21] Now here the guest is not inclined to fill their fun M.O. by going on an attraction,

[00:34:25] thereby keeping lines short and also purchasing something, thereby adding to profits.

[00:34:31] All the while their M.O.s are kept in the green

[00:34:33] so they are generally happy with their choices and having a good time.

[00:34:36] Now by choreographing the guest experience in this way,

[00:34:40] regulators become key influencers in keeping the park's population disseminated evenly.

[00:34:45] Again, win-win for all.

[00:34:48] Now there were, however, a couple of times when things didn't go according to plan.

[00:34:54] One time a teenage guest was in Savi's workshop looking at lightsabers

[00:34:58] when their bladder remote began to swiftly move into the red.

[00:35:02] They were having a tough time deciding which lightsaber to purchase,

[00:35:05] but regulators were afraid that if the teen left the store to go to the restroom,

[00:35:09] they wouldn't come back and buy the souvenir,

[00:35:11] so to give that guest more time in the store,

[00:35:13] they adjusted the bladder remote from red to green,

[00:35:15] giving the guests the impression that they didn't have to go to the bathroom.

[00:35:18] This regulator then stepped out of the office for a couple of minutes

[00:35:21] to grab a snack in the break room,

[00:35:23] but as it turned out, he had over-adjusted the bladder remote

[00:35:26] and the teen's natural bodily function overrode the M.O.T.E. system,

[00:35:29] causing the teen to urinate right there in the middle of Savi's workshop.

[00:35:34] Now this of course caused a ripple effect of red M.O.T.E.s among not only the teen,

[00:35:38] but the group they were in and virtually every guest in the close vicinity.

[00:35:42] Now this was an unfortunate mistake and one that Disney couldn't take lightly.

[00:35:46] Similarly, there was an elderly guest whose energy M.O.T.E.

[00:35:49] was consistently hovering around orange.

[00:35:52] One regulator noticed this and as the woman walked past the DCA Starbucks,

[00:35:55] he decided to drop her hunger and energy into the red,

[00:35:58] hoping that this would cause her to go and grab a caffeinated beverage

[00:36:01] to satisfy those M.O.T.E.s.

[00:36:03] This was a great plan, however,

[00:36:05] the regulator's bladder M.O.T.E. suddenly went into the red

[00:36:08] and he had to step out to use the restroom.

[00:36:11] And while he was out,

[00:36:12] the elderly woman, having her hunger and energy M.O.T.E.s too far into the red,

[00:36:17] fainted while waiting in the Starbucks line

[00:36:19] and this, as you can imagine,

[00:36:20] caused many surrounding guests comfort and fun levels to suddenly drop into the red.

[00:36:25] Again, not an ideal situation.

[00:36:27] The whole point of Dream Direct is to create structure and predictability,

[00:36:31] allowing Disney to present meaningful and magical VIP experiences for their guests.

[00:36:36] These types of mistakes cause chaos and unpredictability and instability

[00:36:40] and they simply could no longer be tolerated.

[00:36:43] Now, up until this point,

[00:36:44] there was no need for executive staff to view regulator M.O.T.E.s.

[00:36:48] With these errors becoming more frequent,

[00:36:50] it was time to change that.

[00:36:52] The first thing Disney executive staff did

[00:36:53] was put on their M.O.T.E. plus glasses

[00:36:55] and look at the regulator office security footage.

[00:36:57] They were shocked to find that the regulator M.O.T.E.s

[00:36:59] were almost entirely in the orange and red.

[00:37:02] Now, while not entirely surprising,

[00:37:05] this was unfortunate.

[00:37:06] They were not having fun.

[00:37:07] They were uncomfortable.

[00:37:08] Their bladders were full.

[00:37:09] They were hungry and dirty.

[00:37:11] The situation was untenable.

[00:37:13] The executive team believed it was this unhappiness

[00:37:16] that was causing the regulators to start making more and more mistakes

[00:37:19] and they were choosing to satisfy their own M.O.T.E.s

[00:37:22] over helping the guests satisfy theirs.

[00:37:26] One of the executives in the boardroom spoke up.

[00:37:28] We knew this might happen.

[00:37:30] It's time to deploy Dream Direct onto these cast members

[00:37:34] so that we can have more control over their M.O.T.E.s.

[00:37:36] And so, that's what we did.

[00:37:39] As CEO, I developed a new position at the company called Regulator Plus,

[00:37:44] R-Plus for short,

[00:37:45] and promoted one of my best regulators into the position.

[00:37:48] She regulated the regulators.

[00:37:50] And it wasn't enough to just regulate them though.

[00:37:53] In order to mitigate the risk for more mistakes,

[00:37:55] it was determined that regulator M.O.T.E.s

[00:37:57] should remain in full green

[00:37:59] so that they could handle a full shift

[00:38:00] without needing to worry about satisfying any of their M.O.T.E.s.

[00:38:04] From a corporate standpoint, it made sense

[00:38:06] for them to believe that they were never hungry,

[00:38:08] they never needed a bathroom break,

[00:38:10] but what we really wanted was for them to believe

[00:38:12] that they were comfortable and happy.

[00:38:14] Over the next few weeks, R-Plus reported to the CEO

[00:38:17] that the regulators' work was on point.

[00:38:20] There were zero mistakes. Guests were happy.

[00:38:22] They were buying more, eating more,

[00:38:24] the park's attendance was evenly distributed,

[00:38:26] which helped make everyone feel comfortable,

[00:38:28] and all because the regulators just worked.

[00:38:32] With R-Plus controlling the regulators,

[00:38:34] they no longer needed breaks of any kind.

[00:38:36] In fact, it was working so well

[00:38:38] that we were able to get the entire job done

[00:38:40] with only three regulators working nonstop.

[00:38:43] And as a result, we were able to reduce

[00:38:45] the amount of regulator staff to only three per shift,

[00:38:47] which of course helped the bottom line.

[00:38:51] So now, with only three regulators on shift

[00:38:54] at any given time, they worked 24, even 48-hour shifts

[00:38:57] before they needed a break to sleep, eat,

[00:39:00] and use the latrine.

[00:39:02] At Disney, we make magic,

[00:39:04] and finding a way for three people to do work of 20

[00:39:07] without having to pay them more, that's corporate magic.

[00:39:12] It was a sunny afternoon when I decided

[00:39:14] to take a stroll down Main Street.

[00:39:16] I smiled as I looked around

[00:39:18] at all the happy, content guest faces.

[00:39:20] We are doing great things here, I said to myself

[00:39:22] as I waved graciously at families with all green emotes,

[00:39:25] gorging on corn dogs, buying Mickey-shaped balloons.

[00:39:29] It was then that my eye caught a glare

[00:39:31] from the second story.

[00:39:32] I looked up and saw my beautiful regulator

[00:39:34] staring down at me.

[00:39:35] I waved up at them with pride.

[00:39:37] I felt true gratitude at that moment.

[00:39:41] Wonderful regulators, they've made me rich.

[00:39:47] They, with some prodding of course,

[00:39:49] have turned this company around

[00:39:51] and made my bonuses the best I've ever seen.

[00:39:54] I should thank them, I thought.

[00:39:56] So I went backstage, walked through the white

[00:39:58] and blue hallway, smiling and shaking hands

[00:40:01] with cast members as I went along

[00:40:03] until I reached the staircase.

[00:40:05] I began to climb the stairs,

[00:40:07] which ended at a single door

[00:40:08] leading to the regulator office.

[00:40:10] As I climbed the steps, I could hear

[00:40:11] a faint murmur coming from inside.

[00:40:13] And as I reached the top, it began to sound

[00:40:15] more and more like, I don't know, a growl.

[00:40:19] It was almost animalistic, you know,

[00:40:22] like what you'd hear at the zoo

[00:40:24] right before feeding time, I don't know.

[00:40:26] I put my ear to the door just to try

[00:40:28] to get a better idea of the sound

[00:40:29] and it stopped suddenly.

[00:40:34] And so I used my keycard to unlock the door.

[00:40:37] I opened the door quietly,

[00:40:38] not wanting to disturb my wonderful regulators

[00:40:40] as they work.

[00:40:42] I peered in.

[00:40:43] I saw all three regulators focused

[00:40:45] on their screens, diligently working.

[00:40:48] A musty vinegary smell hit my nose

[00:40:51] and I winced.

[00:40:53] When I saw how disheveled

[00:40:54] and unkempt the three looked,

[00:40:55] I thought to myself,

[00:40:57] we should probably set some cleanliness standards

[00:40:59] for them.

[00:41:01] I put my finger under my nose,

[00:41:03] hoping to mask the smell a bit.

[00:41:05] As I entered the room

[00:41:06] and I shut the door behind me.

[00:41:08] As the door clicked shut,

[00:41:09] the three regulators turned their heads slowly,

[00:41:12] but in sequence,

[00:41:13] and stared through me with bloodshot,

[00:41:15] wild, demented eyes.

[00:41:21] Back at the studio offices,

[00:41:22] R-Plus watched the security camera screens

[00:41:25] as her boss, the CEO,

[00:41:26] entered the regulator office.

[00:41:29] She had pushed the limits on these regulators

[00:41:31] and their emotes.

[00:41:32] Luckily, they were wholly unaware

[00:41:34] of how miserable they really were.

[00:41:36] The three regulators hadn't eaten,

[00:41:38] urinated,

[00:41:39] or moved from their chairs in over 72 hours

[00:41:41] because R-Plus kept their emotes in the green,

[00:41:44] making them believe they didn't need to.

[00:41:47] She didn't like this part of her plan.

[00:41:49] She enjoyed her coworkers

[00:41:50] and they didn't deserve this.

[00:41:52] But she also knew that protesting the amendment

[00:41:54] wouldn't get anything changed quickly enough.

[00:41:57] She needed tangible, corporal evidence.

[00:42:00] So she waited until she saw all three regulators

[00:42:02] turn to look at her boss.

[00:42:04] And then she reversed all their emotes at once,

[00:42:06] thrusting them all into the red

[00:42:08] and watched the screen intently.

[00:42:12] Everything happened really fast.

[00:42:14] R-Plus watched as 72 hours of camouflaged agony

[00:42:17] exploded into reality in a single moment.

[00:42:20] The regulators felt overwhelming disgust

[00:42:22] at the smell of the room,

[00:42:24] excruciating pain from not moving for 72 hours,

[00:42:27] pure uninhibited exhaustion

[00:42:30] and an absolutely unavoidable blast

[00:42:32] of their stored up excrement.

[00:42:35] As bad as that was,

[00:42:37] what was worse was the untamed,

[00:42:39] savage hunger that they all felt.

[00:42:42] Their three days worth of hunger was so great

[00:42:44] that engorging was the only clear thought they had.

[00:42:48] It was eat now or die.

[00:42:51] So in a manner that can only be described as feral,

[00:42:55] the regulators ferociously pounced onto my boss,

[00:42:59] ripping at the suit that costs more than my car

[00:43:02] and gashed their teeth into his flesh.

[00:43:05] There was no sound on the security cameras,

[00:43:07] but it sure looked like he was screaming.

[00:43:10] Until one of the regulators snatched his tongue

[00:43:13] right out of his mouth

[00:43:14] and slurped it up like a Jell-O jiggler, that is.

[00:43:17] They looked more like animals than people

[00:43:19] as they gnawed on my boss's fingers and toes

[00:43:22] and bit through the flesh of his cheeks.

[00:43:24] They clawed at his thighs

[00:43:26] and spent a surprising amount of time

[00:43:28] digging through his midsection.

[00:43:30] I suppose they enjoyed that part the best.

[00:43:33] And once they were full,

[00:43:34] and I could tell because their hunger emotes

[00:43:36] were bright green,

[00:43:38] the regulators left him there

[00:43:39] lying in a pool of his own blood and immorality.

[00:43:44] They moved as a pack to the other side of the room,

[00:43:47] hurled up together on the floor,

[00:43:48] and I watched as they fell asleep,

[00:43:50] their emotes transitioning from red to green,

[00:43:54] finally in control again and at peace.

[00:43:58] What market analysts are calling

[00:43:59] the stock market implosion,

[00:44:01] stocks dropped to all-time lows overnight

[00:44:03] as reports came in that Disney CEO

[00:44:06] had been found mauled, mutilated,

[00:44:08] and eaten by his own employees.

[00:44:10] Sources close to the situation claim

[00:44:12] that the CEO had been using the Emote Plus system

[00:44:15] to manipulate and control employees and patrons.

[00:44:18] The BBC reached out to Disney for comment

[00:44:21] but have not yet received a response.

[00:44:23] Over the past several weeks,

[00:44:25] protesters across the United States

[00:44:26] have been voicing their desire

[00:44:28] to repeal the 28th Amendment

[00:44:30] due to concerns about the ethicality of it

[00:44:32] and the Emote Plus system.

[00:44:34] In an unexpected move,

[00:44:36] it appears that United State legislatures

[00:44:38] are listening to the protesters

[00:44:40] and have scheduled an immediate

[00:44:42] constitutional convention

[00:44:43] where it's expected that they will attempt

[00:44:45] to repeal the 28th Amendment.

[00:44:47] BBC News will keep you updated

[00:44:50] as this story unfolds.

[00:44:53] That it?

[00:44:53] That's it.

[00:44:54] Yay!

[00:44:55] Yay!

[00:44:58] Good job, Taryn.

[00:44:59] Thanks.

[00:45:00] Feel better now that it's over?

[00:45:02] Yeah.

[00:45:05] That was really long.

[00:45:06] It's good, it was great.

[00:45:07] No, it was good.

[00:45:08] There's a lot of buildup.

[00:45:10] Sure, of course.

[00:45:11] Yeah, just like excrement, I guess.

[00:45:14] Lots of excrement.

[00:45:15] Man, I had to use a thesaurus so much.

[00:45:21] Yeah, I didn't do that.

[00:45:23] In the first draft, was it all just poop?

[00:45:26] Yeah, basically.

[00:45:27] I literally was like poop synonym.

[00:45:30] I'm like excrement, perf.

[00:45:33] That's my English major.

[00:45:34] We're going to take a quick break, everybody.

[00:45:36] We're going to come back

[00:45:36] and we're going to wrap it up with my story.

[00:45:39] Normally, I would say it's the best story,

[00:45:40] but you know, I don't know.

[00:45:41] Maybe it's not anymore.

[00:45:43] Who's to say?

[00:45:44] Who could really say, right?

[00:45:45] Whomst among us?

[00:45:46] So hang on, everyone.

[00:45:47] It's Ears Up.

[00:45:47] We'll be right back.

[00:45:53] Gee, sorry guys, but that guy bought 14 churros.

[00:45:56] I'm all sold out.

[00:46:00] And now back to the show.

[00:46:06] All right.

[00:46:07] Thanks for sticking around, everybody.

[00:46:09] That churro thing is a spooky situation for sure.

[00:46:11] That's right.

[00:46:13] Yeah, so you know, when I was doing that AI

[00:46:17] generating for you, Taryn,

[00:46:19] you know, and you sent me the paragraph

[00:46:21] and I put in the generated

[00:46:22] and kind of messed around a bit.

[00:46:23] But I noticed two things that was weird.

[00:46:26] One, you noticed a lot of times

[00:46:28] it wouldn't say emote.

[00:46:30] It would say emotay.

[00:46:31] Emote, yeah.

[00:46:32] It's very weird.

[00:46:33] Yeah.

[00:46:34] And so like, OK.

[00:46:35] It was like killing my vibe.

[00:46:36] Yeah, so you just have to like regenerate it

[00:46:39] and then it'll say the words a little bit differently.

[00:46:42] But sometimes the first take is good,

[00:46:44] but then they say emotay.

[00:46:45] Yeah.

[00:46:46] And it's already emote.

[00:46:47] And it's like, no, that's not.

[00:46:48] But the other thing they couldn't say was BBC.

[00:46:51] Oh, really?

[00:46:52] Yes.

[00:46:53] It was like, and it sort of reminded me

[00:46:55] of what was happening with Terrence's thing.

[00:46:58] Like, I'm going to do it right now.

[00:47:00] I watched BBC.

[00:47:02] That's funny.

[00:47:04] So let's see what.

[00:47:05] Oh, well, I wonder if it's just with.

[00:47:08] I wonder if it's just with that accent.

[00:47:10] So it's like the main, you know, here we go.

[00:47:13] I watched the BBC.

[00:47:15] Oh, that's Terrence doing it.

[00:47:16] He should have Terrence did fine.

[00:47:18] How did Dorothy do it?

[00:47:19] Let's see, Dorothy.

[00:47:20] Let's come on, Dorothy.

[00:47:21] Generate this for me.

[00:47:22] I watched the BBC.

[00:47:24] Oh, BBC.

[00:47:27] Yeah, it was odd.

[00:47:27] It was odd.

[00:47:28] But yeah, anyway, so I had to like spell out BEE.

[00:47:32] The BEE.

[00:47:32] Oh, interesting.

[00:47:35] Interesting.

[00:47:36] There we go.

[00:47:37] I appreciate your work on that.

[00:47:39] Well, yeah, you know, no big deal.

[00:47:41] No big deal, really.

[00:47:43] Uh, OK, here we go.

[00:47:44] I got too much.

[00:47:45] I got too much going on.

[00:47:48] Too many things to control.

[00:47:50] And then we have a bonus story.

[00:47:51] I didn't I'll just tell you guys that right now.

[00:47:54] Yeah.

[00:47:57] All right, here we go.

[00:47:58] The best story is what this is.

[00:48:00] Ready?

[00:48:01] It's the best.

[00:48:02] The best story.

[00:48:05] Do you want to say it again?

[00:48:10] Walter sat at his desk, cradling his head in his hands,

[00:48:14] the lamp in his window, casting a streak of light across the faded manuscript in front of him.

[00:48:19] His eyes were heavy.

[00:48:21] It was late and he knew he had to get home soon or Lily would start to worry.

[00:48:26] Fuck it, he said in a dry voice.

[00:48:30] Standing up, I just realized that I had Walt say the F word on the on the clean show.

[00:48:35] Yeah.

[00:48:37] Well, hey, man, let's quote Walt all the time.

[00:48:41] No, I don't know.

[00:48:42] Standing up, he pulled the chain on the light, plunging his office into darkness.

[00:48:47] As his eyes adjusted, Walt made his way to the door, twisted the knob and headed to his car.

[00:48:53] He had a meeting to attend at the park and he did not want to be late.

[00:48:57] As he drove to Disneyland, Walt started to feel the pressure he was under.

[00:49:02] The rest of the council was waiting for him and he was depending on them in his own way.

[00:49:07] If tonight didn't work out, it could spell the end of a lot more than Disneyland itself.

[00:49:13] Pulling into the employee parking lot, Walt had his windows down.

[00:49:16] It was cool, not cold, but that nice even weather that Southern California is known for,

[00:49:22] even for October.

[00:49:24] His feet hit the grounds of the park exactly at 12 a.m.

[00:49:27] He was already late.

[00:49:29] The park was closing and while it was his name on the sign out front,

[00:49:33] there are a few people Walt was not really inclined to be late for

[00:49:37] and every single one of them were inside waiting for him.

[00:49:41] Making his way through the twists and turns of backstage, avoiding eye contact with cast

[00:49:45] members and anyone who might want to delay him further, Walt finally popped out in the

[00:49:50] recesses of New Orleans Square.

[00:49:52] The crowd had thinned out and there were only a few stragglers remaining behind,

[00:49:56] trying to squeeze out every last experience they could before going back to their lives.

[00:50:01] He felt it was safe enough to risk it.

[00:50:03] Quickly, he stepped out from behind the backstage doors, made a fast right,

[00:50:07] a jaunting little left and hit the golden buzzer at the side of the door.

[00:50:12] Yes, the voice was firm and masculine.

[00:50:15] Not very Disney-like, he thought, but this was what happened on meeting nights.

[00:50:19] The committee took over.

[00:50:21] Security was of the utmost and nobody knew about security like the Freemasons did.

[00:50:28] He replied.

[00:50:31] The door was opened within seconds and Walt stepped in.

[00:50:35] As he climbed the stairs, he could hear the rest of the members conversing.

[00:50:41] Taking a seat around the large table, Walt lit a cigarette and took a deep draw.

[00:50:46] He knew what was coming, even if they didn't.

[00:50:49] Walt, Jeff spoke first.

[00:50:50] Thank you again for having us, as always.

[00:50:53] Building this little hideaway has been a real benefit for not only us committee members,

[00:50:57] but our families as well.

[00:50:59] I'll say, added Ben, this way I don't get gin and the kids all in my business on meeting nights.

[00:51:04] A few of the chuckles permeated the smoke and Walt nodded in thanks.

[00:51:09] Now that's all out of the way, the Grand Commander rose as he spoke.

[00:51:13] Brother Walter, how are things going with the translation?

[00:51:16] Walt took a beat, stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray to his left and stood up.

[00:51:21] The pitch man in him started to take over and his nerves began to calm.

[00:51:27] Well, fellas, I don't know about you, but this weather has me just itching to get things moving.

[00:51:32] Laughter permeated the room.

[00:51:34] In our tradition of learning from the past, so we can protect our future,

[00:51:39] we have scoured the earth to find and rescue as many legends of the old operative masons as possible.

[00:51:45] And with every discovery, we bring one another closer in brotherhood than ever before.

[00:51:49] Through our observance of rituals, our journey through knowledge,

[00:51:54] our embracing of the allegories represented in the master architect's tools.

[00:51:59] It is through these that we seek a higher knowledge.

[00:52:04] Walt was rolling now.

[00:52:05] He could feel the room turn from impatient men to children in awe of the showman that he had become.

[00:52:12] This is where Walt was.

[00:52:13] This is where Walt lived.

[00:52:15] Today is the 12th, and in just a few short hours,

[00:52:21] we will be taking our place among those old brothers that have moved on before us.

[00:52:25] From this organization's humble beginnings, splintering from the Templar Knights to today,

[00:52:34] to you men, you master masons, it is us who will rightly reshape the future of humanity.

[00:52:41] A waitress entered carrying a tray of drinks in both hands.

[00:52:44] As she made her way around the room, she presented Walt with his.

[00:52:47] He took a long pull from his glass and continued.

[00:52:51] When we make that long journey across this great park,

[00:52:54] and we embark on our most sacred right,

[00:52:58] calling upon the sun to guide our hand into death and what lies beyond.

[00:53:05] I know that I ascend to that unknown place

[00:53:08] in company of the bravest and most worthy men I could have hoped to know.

[00:53:13] Applause broke out around the table.

[00:53:16] A sound Walt was used to by now, but never tired of.

[00:53:20] Especially from these men.

[00:53:22] These were hard men.

[00:53:23] Men of industry.

[00:53:25] Builders of empires.

[00:53:27] Pillars of their communities.

[00:53:28] It was the only group of people Walt ever felt connected to in any sort of way.

[00:53:34] Gentlemen, I would like to state how excited I am to be at this moment with all of you.

[00:53:42] When I started as a Freemason, I wanted to change the world.

[00:53:47] But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine we would ever get here.

[00:53:52] Who would have ever thought that working with a guy like Wernher von Braun

[00:53:58] would lead me down the road we are all currently on?

[00:54:01] That man and I had only two things in common.

[00:54:04] The future and the occult.

[00:54:07] Knowing he was treading on already soft ground, he continued slowly, more deliberately.

[00:54:12] If there was one thing he knew how to do, it was to calm a storm before it hit.

[00:54:17] Now I knew before joining the Masons that the occult was not part of the agenda here.

[00:54:25] But the draw was too great.

[00:54:28] And I knew that if I had just got in front of the right people

[00:54:31] in the right places, we could all benefit from the knowledge unearthed.

[00:54:37] Gentle nods littered the crowd.

[00:54:39] Walt loved a group that thought so highly of themselves.

[00:54:42] It sure made things a lot easier to sell to them.

[00:54:47] And even after being a part of their system for so many years,

[00:54:50] devoting so much time and energy to their little club,

[00:54:53] he still had to sell them on this night right here.

[00:54:56] It all led up to the next few hours.

[00:55:00] The rest of the night was spent inside Club 33.

[00:55:03] Because of the sensitive nature of their meetings,

[00:55:05] none of the Disneyland cast members were on shift that night.

[00:55:08] Walt made sure to bring in trusted people,

[00:55:11] lower-ranked brothers who knew how to keep anything they might hear to themselves.

[00:55:16] The conversations turned away from the upcoming event and focused on more on worldly things,

[00:55:20] stock prices, local and federal regulation.

[00:55:23] Not that any of it would matter much after today,

[00:55:26] but it was best to play along and let them have their security blankets.

[00:55:30] At 530, a soft chime rang out through the club.

[00:55:34] The committee members finished their drinks

[00:55:36] and made their way out of the club and into the empty space of New Orleans Square.

[00:55:40] Each man dressed in their black robes,

[00:55:43] following the Grand Commander in a grim but orderly line.

[00:55:47] Walt had made sure the park had scheduled maintenance that morning

[00:55:49] so they would not be disturbed.

[00:55:52] The procession wound around the park,

[00:55:54] making its way to the tallest and most accessible point in Disneyland,

[00:55:58] the Matterhorn.

[00:56:00] Up through the inner workings of the landmark attraction

[00:56:02] to the platform high above the park.

[00:56:05] Brothers from the local lodges had already been hard at work

[00:56:08] setting up the ritual space to the exacting details written in the old ways.

[00:56:13] Candles in the colors of purple and green were in position across the floor etchings,

[00:56:17] and the last ones were being ignited as the committee entered the space.

[00:56:22] The men took up positions around the perimeter of the room,

[00:56:25] while the Grand Commander took his place in the center of the symbols on the floor.

[00:56:30] Slowly he began.

[00:56:32] On this date nearly 650 years ago,

[00:56:35] our brothers the Knights Templar were rounded up,

[00:56:38] tortured and forced into false confessions at the behest of the Church.

[00:56:43] As you know, many were later burned at the stake for their alleged crime.

[00:56:47] This was meant to break the Knights,

[00:56:49] to shatter their hold across Europe and to eliminate their influence and power.

[00:56:54] But this only made them stronger,

[00:56:56] until they eventually made their way into the masonry guilds of the Old World.

[00:57:01] It was these brothers that shifted our pursuits to a more lofty goal.

[00:57:05] And now I want to welcome our latest Grand Inspector General to begin the rite.

[00:57:11] Walter.

[00:57:13] Walt stepped out of his position and took his place at the center of the ring.

[00:57:17] A mason from the shadows approached and delivered to Walt a scroll sitting on a tray of solid gold.

[00:57:23] Walt took the scroll, unrolled it,

[00:57:26] his signet ring shining in the candlelight.

[00:57:29] He began.

[00:57:31] Qui affetto protego,

[00:57:33] mixtisque iube serpentibus,

[00:57:35] e posteris meis estirpicu.

[00:57:38] A singular clap of thunder rattled high above them.

[00:57:41] He knew this was the right key to unlock his dreams.

[00:57:45] Tui gratia, lovis gratia,

[00:57:48] sic cura imperare et ferire,

[00:57:51] intervernire res.

[00:57:55] A thin white mist began to crawl across the floor,

[00:57:58] obscuring the candles and casting a strange light across the room.

[00:58:02] Walt opened his arms wide and shouted.

[00:58:05] Eius manus lux perpequa,

[00:58:08] potere coris mea,

[00:58:10] semper.

[00:58:12] Another thunder clap and a bolt of lightning spiked down and struck the top of the Matterhorn.

[00:58:17] Small pieces of the roof broke off, falling down at the feet of the men.

[00:58:21] Dark clouds began to form in the sky above the Matterhorn.

[00:58:24] Slowly they churned and swirled while lightning flashed and spiked the skies.

[00:58:29] Fascinare mens debilis,

[00:58:31] fascinare tum anima,

[00:58:33] tactus affectus,

[00:58:35] actus maledictum.

[00:58:37] He continued.

[00:58:38] Another bolt of lightning struck the peak, punching a hole in the structure.

[00:58:42] A large piece fell and hit two of the masons, knocking them down.

[00:58:46] Do not break the circle!

[00:58:48] Someone screamed above the chaos.

[00:58:50] Close the gap!

[00:58:52] Two brothers came together, tightening the circle up a bit.

[00:58:55] Ensuring the bond was not broken for long.

[00:58:58] Walt was looking at the sky now, arms spread wide open.

[00:59:02] The scroll dropped from his hand.

[00:59:04] Laughing, he closed his eyes.

[00:59:06] One of the brothers shouted,

[00:59:08] I can feel it! It's here!

[00:59:10] As the words left his lips, a hole in the swirling vortex of the clouds above opened.

[00:59:16] Two glowing eyes appeared in the darkness beyond the clouds,

[00:59:19] and a low rumble began to shake the Matterhorn around the wind.

[00:59:23] Darkness, we call upon you!

[00:59:24] Waken! Waken! And show us the pathway!

[00:59:27] The brothers chanted over and over again.

[00:59:31] The rumble began to shift into a deep, drawn-out roar.

[00:59:34] The two eyes in the center of the storm grew in size, getting closer to the opening.

[00:59:39] Another flash and another strike of lightning hit the Matterhorn,

[00:59:42] sending even more debris down around the brothers.

[00:59:45] The earth shook mightily at the approaching horror,

[00:59:48] and through it all, the men of the 33-degree Masonic Council held fast,

[00:59:52] never breaking the ritual.

[00:59:54] A cone of light shot down, illuminating Walt.

[00:59:57] His back arched, and a short grunt emanated from his throat.

[01:00:02] Another lightning strike sent even more of the inside of the Matterhorn's wall crashing down,

[01:00:06] this time striking two more of the brothers in the circle, forcing them to the ground.

[01:00:11] As the circle broke, the cone of light enveloping Walt snapped off, as if on a switch.

[01:00:17] Walt dropped to the ground in a heap.

[01:00:19] The men could see more of the sky now through the Matterhorn,

[01:00:22] and the being that seemed destined to force its way into this world frightened them to no end.

[01:00:28] Several men broke off their connections with one another and ran screaming and shouting for the

[01:00:32] exit. The creature was no longer being drawn into this world since the circle was broken

[01:00:37] and shrieked in pain as the portal began closing around it.

[01:00:42] Quickly, the eyes drew back in fear, and the swirling clouds closed ranks in front of it,

[01:00:46] and then disappeared completely.

[01:00:49] As dawn broke on that morning, Friday the 13th of October, 1965,

[01:00:54] Walter Elias Disney lay on the floor of the Matterhorn, high above the park that bore his name.

[01:01:00] His curiosity had gotten him this far in life, a career that rivaled any on earth,

[01:01:05] but he feared he may have taken it one step too far this time.

[01:01:09] As he lay on the ground, his robes singed and smoking,

[01:01:12] he sat up, coughed a few times, and surveyed the damage.

[01:01:16] Four of his lodge brothers lay in the rubble, all still alive but struggling.

[01:01:21] Everyone else had left them alone to figure out what to do next.

[01:01:25] Drawing himself to his feet, he wondered sarcastically if he was out of the Freemasons

[01:01:29] group now that he had almost birthed some type of creature into the world.

[01:01:34] Oh well, he thought.

[01:01:36] Maybe this was a sign that things were just how they were and no amount of knowledge or

[01:01:39] enlightenment could change that.

[01:01:42] A few days later, Walt sat in his office, pouring over some paperwork.

[01:01:45] He was lucky that he had a few trusted men working for him that could patch the damage

[01:01:49] up inside the Matterhorn and outside without drawing too much attention to it.

[01:01:54] The papers that day were still trying to figure out why a storm of that caliber had hit Anaheim

[01:01:59] so fast and so hard, or why it covered only a small portion of the Disneyland park.

[01:02:05] Walt hadn't heard from any of the council or the lodge, and he didn't really expect to.

[01:02:09] He hardly blamed them.

[01:02:11] Not everyone is okay with almost ending the world, and while as a Freemason he learned

[01:02:15] not to fear death, apparently when faced with that possibility at any point beyond your

[01:02:19] expected deadline, men will rethink what they fear at that moment.

[01:02:24] Leaning back, Walt turns his gaze out the window, looking down at the studio grounds

[01:02:28] below him.

[01:02:29] At the talent he has amassed and reaffirmed to himself that he didn't want to lose any

[01:02:34] of this.

[01:02:35] He'd find another way, another group, to help him bridge the gap of life after death.

[01:02:40] After all, he was only 64.

[01:02:42] He had more than a few good years left to figure this all out.

[01:02:46] A smile broke out on that worn and weathered face.

[01:02:49] He sat back up, swiveled back to his desk, let out a short, raspy cough, and got back

[01:02:55] to work.

[01:03:00] Yeah, good job.

[01:03:03] I was very nervous.

[01:03:03] I thought that you were, that you're going to kill Walt.

[01:03:08] Well, I mean, I sort of, I mean, the, yeah, what I tried to imply is that that whole thing

[01:03:15] gave him cancer.

[01:03:17] We started coughing.

[01:03:19] Oh, okay.

[01:03:20] A short, raspy cough, which is not a healthy cough.

[01:03:23] Yeah.

[01:03:25] That was my, and it was like a year previous to when he like died.

[01:03:28] So I, yeah.

[01:03:31] Good job.

[01:03:31] You had a lot of history in there.

[01:03:33] I'm a history guy, man.

[01:03:34] No, I don't know.

[01:03:35] Yeah.

[01:03:35] And so much Latin.

[01:03:37] So much Latin.

[01:03:37] So much Latin.

[01:03:38] I know.

[01:03:39] Yeah, I know.

[01:03:39] Well, see, here's the thing.

[01:03:41] Number one, Walt really wasn't in the Freemasons, but there's like a rumor that he was.

[01:03:47] So I'm like, let's just go with that.

[01:03:49] That's fun.

[01:03:50] And then people think he was a 33 degree Mason, because of course they do.

[01:03:54] And they also think it's just like the highest honorary member in the Scottish, right?

[01:03:59] Okay.

[01:04:01] And people also say because they think he was a Mason, he was in, he was a 33 degree Mason.

[01:04:10] And then that's why he named club 33 after, you know, as a tribute to Mason.

[01:04:14] So I'm like, well, let's just do that too.

[01:04:16] I mean, that sounds like fun to me.

[01:04:17] Add it in.

[01:04:18] So I'm sorry.

[01:04:20] No, no.

[01:04:20] I was gonna say, and then all the Latin is like real Latin.

[01:04:24] And go ahead.

[01:04:26] Tell it.

[01:04:27] Oh, man.

[01:04:31] I it was real Latin that I looked up for like spells, you know, spell casting or whatever.

[01:04:41] And I picked like positive spells because I'm not like, I'm not a guy who believes in ghosts

[01:04:45] and shit like stuff like that.

[01:04:46] Right.

[01:04:47] And so I'm sitting there like hearing this Latin over and over again.

[01:04:51] And like in the back of my mind, I'm like, I know this is like a spell thing, but you know,

[01:04:54] you're supposed to say it at a full moon and, you know, whatever.

[01:04:57] And then I had dinner's like, I don't really feel good.

[01:04:59] I think it's, I think it's all this Latin worming away from my brains, man.

[01:05:04] So yeah, don't listen to this episode too many times or else you might, you know,

[01:05:09] get a little spell cast against you or something like that.

[01:05:12] Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like you and I, Jason, both did the same thing.

[01:05:16] We're researching for an episode for a different thing.

[01:05:19] If we went, I got to write a spooky story about this.

[01:05:22] I did.

[01:05:22] You know, originally I was gonna I was gonna piggyback off of the pyramid that the ears

[01:05:27] show that I did with Dan that I'm still editing about the froze like Walt.

[01:05:32] Excuse me, Walt's frozen head and stuff like that.

[01:05:34] Oh, is that what it's about?

[01:05:35] OK, I shift shifted.

[01:05:38] I just guessed that it was a Freemason thing.

[01:05:40] But oh, but hey, there are more.

[01:05:42] There's more P to come, everybody.

[01:05:44] That's right.

[01:05:45] We're not full yet and we're not empty yet.

[01:05:48] I have to say, I think that this is one of our best.

[01:05:52] Ones yet, I thought it was really good.

[01:05:55] Yeah, I thought it was fun, too, especially because Bev and Terrence aren't here.

[01:05:58] Actually, Bev was here.

[01:05:59] No, it's no.

[01:06:00] Terrence is here.

[01:06:01] No, Bev was here.

[01:06:02] She was in the chat for like really two minutes.

[01:06:04] Oh my God.

[01:06:05] Yeah, you were talking cold meds.

[01:06:08] Yeah, it's probably just a cold bed.

[01:06:11] But Eric, honestly, you did such a good job.

[01:06:13] I love the idea of like sticking to a ride like when you started your story.

[01:06:17] I was like, because I'm always thinking like too big and I don't know where to go.

[01:06:21] And I was like, oh my God, you could just like half of the whole story in one ride.

[01:06:26] And I was like, that is fantastic idea.

[01:06:29] It is so good job.

[01:06:32] Well, thanks.

[01:06:33] I like this angle.

[01:06:35] Like I can tell that's where you were going, but it the whole

[01:06:38] the whole thing of Terrence story the whole time.

[01:06:42] This is just was the only thought in my head.

[01:06:50] Same.

[01:06:52] Same.

[01:06:55] Why is that base so hard right now?

[01:06:56] Yeah, I don't know.

[01:06:57] That's rough.

[01:06:59] I got all the processing off.

[01:07:00] I was cracking.

[01:07:02] There we go.

[01:07:03] Yeah.

[01:07:05] Oh no, that's bad.

[01:07:05] Still beefy, dude.

[01:07:07] Jeez.

[01:07:08] I gotta get rid of it.

[01:07:09] I gotta get rid of it.

[01:07:10] I gotta get rid of it and invest like a thousand dollars into stuff, but I don't have that.

[01:07:15] So we're dealing with terrible audio.

[01:07:17] Can I send you like ten dollars?

[01:07:19] But that I mean, you always can with everyone listening, please

[01:07:24] just close your eyes and wish and then send.

[01:07:26] That's right.

[01:07:27] Send me thoughts and prayers because apparently that's the only currency

[01:07:30] this country wants to deal in right now.

[01:07:33] OK, I think that's it actually went on a lot longer than I thought, which is very cool.

[01:07:37] But, you know, I'm going to edit out all the faux pas that I did with my,

[01:07:40] you know, the delays and I got a lot to do.

[01:07:44] You're going to edit those out.

[01:07:45] Like that's going to.

[01:07:47] No, I'm not.

[01:07:48] I will put it all together and you can send it out.

[01:07:51] I have better things to do.

[01:07:53] I have to finish Callisto protocol.

[01:07:54] OK, I don't know what that means.

[01:07:56] Yeah, that's right.

[01:07:57] You shouldn't know what that means.

[01:07:58] Dude.

[01:07:59] Callista Flockhart.

[01:08:00] Callista Flockhart protocol.

[01:08:01] Yeah, I'm to figure out where she is.

[01:08:03] The geolocate Callista.

[01:08:04] She's wedged in between two rocks that make a wall.

[01:08:08] She's just surrounded by Harrison Ford's arms.

[01:08:12] Basically.

[01:08:13] You know what?

[01:08:14] If you want to be surrounded by something that's infinitely better than Harrison Ford's

[01:08:17] arms, the 21st Amendment, you go out and buy any of their beers right now.

[01:08:21] But they have a hell or high watermelon, which I don't know if it's still out yet.

[01:08:24] The hell or high mango, which we just bought a couple of weeks ago, which is now my favorite

[01:08:28] hell or high in that hell or high series.

[01:08:30] They also have which I haven't tried yet.

[01:08:32] But Mr. P bought some at Costco the other day.

[01:08:35] The hazy pumpkin ale.

[01:08:36] Oh, I would try that.

[01:08:38] I don't like hazy, but I like pumpkin.

[01:08:40] Yeah, I don't like hazies at all.

[01:08:42] I think they're disgusting and gross.

[01:08:44] Sorry, Sean.

[01:08:44] But what I do love is pumpkin beers.

[01:08:47] So if you have pumpkin in it, I'll try it.

[01:08:49] I will try anything pumpkin beard because I think I think that just like hazy beers,

[01:08:54] we've learned how to make them now.

[01:08:56] The pumpkin beers, right?

[01:08:57] Pumpkin beers for a while were just spice bombs.

[01:09:00] It was like, might as well do a line of cinnamon and a nutmeg chaser like it's there's no there's

[01:09:06] no point to it.

[01:09:07] We figured it out.

[01:09:08] And hazies used to be gross and chalky.

[01:09:10] And now they're just gross.

[01:09:10] So we figured it out for me.

[01:09:14] So I'm interested to see this anyway.

[01:09:16] So check them out.

[01:09:17] And if you're in the Bay Area, go visit their brewery in San Francisco, the original brewery.

[01:09:22] They have a restaurant, a bunch of food and a great place to go.

[01:09:24] And if you're out there, you can catch a Giants game two blocks away from there or in San

[01:09:28] Leandro.

[01:09:29] Stop by their giant flagship brew house now.

[01:09:32] And they have a giant place to hang out inside.

[01:09:35] They have a beer garden outside.

[01:09:36] They have a band there all the time.

[01:09:37] They have food there too.

[01:09:38] They have cheese curds.

[01:09:39] So check them out.

[01:09:40] 21stamendment.com.

[01:09:42] All right, everyone.

[01:09:43] Thanks a lot for tuning in.

[01:09:44] Happy Halloween.

[01:09:45] I appreciate it.

[01:09:46] And we're going to jump over to the Secret Show feed here in just a second.

[01:09:49] But if you want to be a part of that, go patreon.com slash ears up.

[01:09:52] Become a Patreon supporter and maybe I can get better editing stuff.

[01:09:57] But I don't know.

[01:10:00] Don't do it.

[01:10:00] Just buy shirts.

[01:10:01] I don't know.

[01:10:02] Be a Patreon.

[01:10:03] Being a Patreon is awesome.

[01:10:05] Yeah.

[01:10:06] Yeah.

[01:10:08] Whatever.

[01:10:08] I'm going to edit this whole thing out anyway.

[01:10:09] Doesn't matter anymore.

[01:10:11] I'm at that point.

[01:10:13] I'm still talking.

[01:10:14] All right.

[01:10:16] Good job, everybody.

[01:10:17] Thanks a lot for tuning in.

[01:10:18] Appreciate it.