EarzUP! | Ernest Goes To Splash Mountain (A Scraping the Vault Crossover Event)

[00:00:00] Start recording I guess are we gonna wait for Terrence or who? where Never heard of him but Bev is coming so we'll wait. Okay It's time for the show that brings the magic right to your speakers

[00:00:21] Hey, what's going on everybody ears up podcast we are doing a very special show Um Eric let me ask you a question Okay, if I was to ask you who the very first person was to ride splash mountain. Who would you say?

[00:00:40] Do you know do we think we know this factoid? Well, I mean Are you talking about aside from? bags of sand well You know what? Maybe they they actually know probably not in this country. No

[00:00:57] It's it's corporations and physical people that's all that's everybody who has rights here bags of sand do not Yeah, so no I'm stumped no clue Taryn Apparently Apparently the very first person to ride splash mountain officially says cannon now It was Ernest P. Warrell

[00:01:21] From you know earnest earnest, you know earnest goes to boot camp or whatever his movies were first person the first person Yeah, so to further our education on this we decided to have the folks from scraping the vault

[00:01:35] Audrey Jimmy and Daniel son on the show to tell us all about this because this is their wheelhouse This is what they do. They watch Is their wheelhouse So they're very sad. They're actually retiring the show now

[00:01:49] They are yes, absolutely, right. They man the cannon. They write it. They sit like monks They have a quill and they write down everything beat by beat as what Jimmy says I could see Jimmy doing that

[00:02:00] I could see Jimmy doing that do anyway guys welcome to the show. Hello. Are we here now? We're here now. Okay. Yeah Jimmy is Jimmy's doing reverse ventriloquism Degrees on the wall behind him don't mean anything

[00:02:17] Thank you for having us and is it war or war L well, I don't know in the video It's sounded like they were saying both. Yeah, so it's interchangeable

[00:02:27] Self says warral, but yeah everybody else on the show is saying war L to keep on theme of our show Which has officially devolved into a higher a Potter podcast nice

[00:02:38] Congratulations people say Voldemort some people call Voldemort. Which one is it? It was the first one you said Voldemort or Voldemort well, there's a tea. Yeah, they're just saying but it's French It means flight from death is what's a full day more

[00:02:52] Yeah, but British people don't always pronounce things the way that they they should no you ever heard him say churro Case in point Like a 12-minute supercut it felt like of people on the Great British baking show saying churro and it's churros

[00:03:09] Yeah, and it's it will destroy your mind if you go and watch it. It's by far the most popular piece of content I've ever made in my entire life

[00:03:18] Super cuts does take about 12 minutes, you know, you go to sport clips and it's a little bit longer to get a massage Yeah, I wouldn't know I don't have it You get to watch sports, which I can't do anything unless I'm watching sports because our baby that's true

[00:03:33] Anyway, I've got a business proposition for everyone in this room It's a haircut place, but all they play is Disney movies and we do it in 11 minutes. No massage Investors welcome You know, there is a barbershop on Main Street at the Magic Kingdom in Orlando Audrey

[00:03:53] It's called it was called dapper dance and it is a barbershop where kids can get their first haircut All right, well or adults or adults Adult and I morbidly your last haircut Is there a hat for that

[00:04:10] This reminds me I when I decided to finally accept that nature was being cruel to me and shave my head I Thought you know It'd be really fun to like go to the barber because I won't ever have a reason to go to a barber again

[00:04:25] Right, cuz I'm gonna maintain it and I worded it in a way So I accidentally worded it in a way that implied that I was dying This is my last haircut I have another business proposition for everyone get a really nicely ventilated wig

[00:04:46] You go to a special effects makeup artist you have them put you in a bald cap On top of your real hair and then you have the nice wig on top and you say this is my last haircut ever I'm shaving it all off

[00:04:57] They shave off your hair the wig and then you rip off the bald cap and you're like gotcha. There's more hair under here You can have multiple wigs. Oh Yeah, I think this is good like a nesting doll I hope you like doing your job

[00:05:18] Well, I love it well These are all great ideas are gonna call shark tank in a couple hours after after we're done recording this But I wanted to have you guys on to talk about this little gem that you sent earnest goes to Splash Mountain

[00:05:32] I had no idea this thing existed. I wouldn't necessarily call myself like a big earnest head If Sam was here Bev's husband he would oh, yeah You know whatever say you went however. He sounds earnest is cool

[00:05:46] I guess you know I used to rent his videos Taryn used to rent earnest videos. I suppose Actually a really big earnest fan until I didn't realize he had a last name and seems like everybody else on here knew

[00:05:59] Thinking I'm not as big a fan as I thought yeah considering the fact that Tiana's Bayou adventure where we go to food max and get bulk spices for Tiana to use in the kitchen

[00:06:11] That's gonna be opening in Disney World soon and apparently Disneyland at some point if you're open It's open to Disney World you're right not a Disneyland I was confusing the two and I know not to get my dates wrong on this show when you guys are on

[00:06:27] Yeah, yeah I wanted to bring you guys on to talk about this because it is sort of like a neat little window into the Not only the history of Splash Mountain, but the marketing behind Splash Mountain and all the weird vibes

[00:06:40] That's all I can really say the vibes on this on this little was it a 20-minute something like that made for TV Yeah, oh by the way Jason. It's really. I'm glad to see that Asher is in the suit

[00:06:52] Could you see if he wants to say something yeah for sure Asher here come over a second Asher It's been so long. How you doing bud one time my sister started on Splash Mountain

[00:07:00] Attentive listeners may catch that this is something of a narrative thread in my ongoing story it is She also shard on Thunder Mountain, that's yeah, I'm having Asher clean my bathroom, and I don't know if that's a good part of the Asher

[00:07:22] So let's get into it Jimmy I wanted it specifically Bringings on because not only you know are you good at going through the the direct to release? You know at home movies, but you also are a show on the ears up Network

[00:07:36] And I appreciate that very much so not only do I want to bring you on to talk about that But let's I want to hear what you guys have to say about the show about this. I guess it's a show movie

[00:07:46] I don't know what it is and skit performance Art yeah, I think Happening yeah, so yes, so it's 22 minutes And that's traditionally a 30-minute television program with commercial breaks take the commercial breaks out It's 22 minutes of glory. Yeah, I guess and

[00:08:06] Taryn not only does earnest have a last name. He also has a middle name Okay, well he's very it is earnest P Worrell what's the stand for earn it well hold on earnest pronounces it warrell but Mr.. Story who is an actual news anchor by the way?

[00:08:26] Not his birth name. We'll get to that later He says warrell I think everybody else says warrell the P. Taryn stands for power tool It is earnest Worrell now here is what I'm going to posit this group, okay?

[00:08:41] That's like the Eve standing for entertainment in Chuckie cheese exactly yeah, so Earnest power to warrell is constantly talking to an invisible Being named Vern this is his neighbor best friend Vern and we are as as viewers of earnest work

[00:09:01] We are Vern we are sometimes versus. That's right. He's talking to us This not a proto Tim the tool man Taylor who is speaking to his unseen neighbor Wilson Is earnest P. Worrell not the proto to Tim the tool man Taylor no?

[00:09:22] Are you generally a conspiracy theorist no Okay Listeners of the show scraping the vault with no that Jimmy is absolutely not into conspiracy nothing can stop what is coming Well they both have the the term tool in them

[00:09:48] I would say that Wilson does exist you can see the top part of his face. That's true Yeah, I mean he presumably has a mortgage and pays taxes property taxes So does Vern Vern has a car that ends up in his kitchen. It's true

[00:10:03] What do we know that that's his car? Do you ever see Vern no classically? That's the gag right you never see Vern You just get that's right, but that's why I say proto right like it's sort of the origins of Tim the tool man Taylor

[00:10:15] I feel like Vern is like the character version of the word smurf. It's just kind of whatever Interesting Vern to be that is fan smurfing tastic. Yeah, he's the widget of the show

[00:10:28] No need to be dirty on this show. Sorry all right well, so how do we start this? What do we have to do here to to get into the minds of children everywhere in 1989 watching the Disney Channel?

[00:10:39] Well, I'll start so first of all scraping the vault to show being on this network We traditionally have gone in order of release these straight-to-video Disney sequels starting with return of Jafar Ending with the Tinkerverse there the last seven movies were Tinkerbell movies, right?

[00:10:57] You guys are still alive. You've recovered. You've made it the take breaks. Yeah, there's and we take long break the urgent care near you is Just has a special door for you to walk into now. That's right Yet to be consumed by the Tinkerverse

[00:11:11] That is correct. We are about to do Little Mermaid 3 But then we go into the Tinkerverse and then after that we're going on to the straight-to-video excuse me The live-action remakes of Disney animated features, so let me add another another thread to that

[00:11:25] What also tends to happen on this show is that Jimmy will? Convince himself that he likes these terrible movies Yes I will very often be sure that there's no possible way anybody could and Audrey will usually have some sort of objective like yeah, what do you expect?

[00:11:43] I like some parts of it some parts were silly and then it will turn it will Eric what usually happens I mean the entertainment comes from Audrey and Dan doing their bits and Jim Jimmy getting

[00:11:57] You know frustrated that he can't finish telling all of the facts that he has in his brain So Jimmy is a parent both off mic and on mic

[00:12:08] It is okay, I'm trying to be the avatar for the audience sure and like the audience my head gets hit against the wall often What happens on a typical episode is that Dan will share with us what was in the gazette guys

[00:12:22] What was going on in the year of release of that particular movie in this case 1989 so Dan will share that I'll go through the plot and then we'll talk about We can talk about the origins of scraping the vault, but we we don't need to

[00:12:34] So then we go through the plot and then I will give a good beer pairing that works well with this film Audrey will give a food pairing that goes well And then Dan will give a music pairing or maybe listen to this instead of watching that okay

[00:12:48] And when Eric is on the show he has a drug pairing. That's correct suitable pair indeed Yeah, it'd be just like watching a commercial right now You know semi-oxynoccin I Don't know man these weird names. Oh, I would

[00:13:04] Noxious and for this well no it's the the side effects are too numerous you speaking of side effects Jason I was watching a commercial about a new drug like this is a new drug right yeah, and

[00:13:17] What's interesting is some of the side effects it says don't take this drug if you are allergic to this drug Yeah, that's where we're at as a

[00:13:30] Society as we have to be told society this might hurt you so don't take it if it will hurt you that's right Yeah, but how would I know it's brand-new Exactly I had a thought tinker verse earnest power tool warrell

[00:13:45] Man tool tinker power tool tinker oh my god Yeah, there's your free conspiracy theory, I love it. That's just like an offer some context about flash mountain do it How what it was what it became and what happened to it go ahead and roll that context music Jason

[00:14:11] splash Mountain was Arrived arrived beloved by many a ride that we want to in our own special way pay tribute to I honoring also earnest P warrell Splash Mountain was conceived. Oh some might say haphazardly as a

[00:14:34] Log ride that Breck Eisner famed imagineer Breck Eisner wanted to ride At Disneyland famed teen Imagineer his father Michael Eisner thought That's a good idea. You're a teen I want to appeal to teens

[00:14:53] Let's make a ride for teens and so they did and they based it on every teenagers favorite property favorite Disney property that is song of the South a movie That the company had been actively avoiding any reference to at that point because many people

[00:15:16] Rightfully or wrongly considered it to be Kind of racist at the time. It wasn't even here. Sorry Even like a thing that they were actively promoting. It's like they had t-shirts and bunny rabbits and stuffies and You know Cartoons or whatever. They didn't they weren't even pushing it

[00:15:36] They were all it was already deep deep inside the vault and locked away forever Well, it was in the theaters earlier on in the 80s, but oh sure, but a lot of things were happening early He's as well, you know

[00:15:51] Okay, I just wanted to clarify that it was nowhere near bubbling up to the surface Well, no, but even at the time They were aware of like this might not be the best idea

[00:16:06] But let's just make it about the cartoon characters. Yeah at the time made perfect. Okay. Sorry here continue No, okay, you're good. And then and then time happened the passing of time blew across this ride in so many different ways

[00:16:23] People's opinions changed the world changed and the right itself began to fall apart So Disney said hey, let's fix this thing. That's falling apart. And by the way Maybe we should get rid of the kind of maybe racist stuff Then they turned it into

[00:16:46] Tiana's Bayou adventure and the internet loved that idea very much. Yeah, sure All right, good job Dan It was fantastic in 1989 the Walt Disney Company through partnership of Ernest P Worrell made a That's right His name is I think David Cherry is something he's a Nashville based producer

[00:17:15] But earnest got his origins with TV commercials. He was a TV personality ads, etc Before the earnest goes to camp goes to jail, etc In 1989 Ernest went to Splash Mountain now Audrey Do you know what you thought this movie was going to be before you watched it?

[00:17:35] Nope, I had no idea. I expected Earnest to do some wacky things and to speak in his weird affectation II way and I was honestly Procrastinating a little bit on watching it and then I was like how long is this thing gonna be?

[00:17:52] And I clicked on the YouTube link and I was like, it's only 22 minutes hot dog So then I watched it that was pretty much my thought process on it, too Because like I said earnest is he's one of those he's like a friend to everybody

[00:18:07] But a friend that you can take in very small micro doses. It's a good way to put it and then you're like Yeah, I get it buddy. This is okay. It's like a Like a Don Knotts movie like Can we cut this up please into tiny one-minute?

[00:18:22] Particles every hour and then I can watch a little bit. That's a good point. It's like if a Don Knotts character were the main character Yeah That's right founder of knots yeah Yeah Okay, so and by the way, Ernest would be a perfect spokesman for Knott's Berry Farm

[00:18:47] Oh, yeah He has not very firm vibes absolutely Jim Varney nots very fine personified Gone to which part that's very farmer Okay, so here's what happened I'm gonna speak to you Taryn okay as our as our audience, right

[00:19:09] Please do let me share with you. What happened to earn a lot on this fake. You're listening. Thank her for listening Thank you for listening. Okay, there you go So we open tell her to join the patreon join the patreon like and subscribe. Yeah concierge.com

[00:19:24] Podcast much you want to listen to on the network? Well, that's the end and okay. Sorry. Okay, Dan's ready to go So we open with earnest one fateful day He's waking up his neighbor Vern and he's announcing to Vern that today's the day the fateful day were earnest

[00:19:41] Will go down in the history books He will be in those thick history books and he'll be answers to some questions in the future like below the equator and None of the above he's the answer to with none of the above

[00:19:57] Have I ever told you guys about my high school teacher who used to do multiple true false questions? This isn't the one that I do an uncanny impersonation of is it No, that's that's a different teacher know this guy quick tangent

[00:20:15] So he used to have we were studying like ancient history And he'd have like a statement like the Coliseum was built in a Rome B Italy C China D all of the above Could both be true right some of it was true false

[00:20:37] Rome true false Italy true false China true false Wow, you know all of the above so you're like So you had to circle the true or circle the false and this happened a lot we'd have to go over the test at the end of the class and

[00:20:51] He would throw out like half the questions because he's like, okay, I guess that was that wasn't really worded properly It was so This person took what should have been just one multiple-choice question and turned it into like 15 true false question you overthought it

[00:21:11] Mmm, I love that for you. Yeah Welcome to scraping the vault everybody That we then cut to a special news report By Splash Mountain News Central, okay, which now appears to be its own network, by the way, that's correct

[00:21:29] Splash Mountain News Central is a network and its anchor is Ralph story who is an actual person Okay, cuz water. Oh, I see what you did Yeah, okay. So Ernest P Worrell or world. He is the first splash or not Taryn Whirlpool Whirlpool

[00:21:54] Okay, so the Ralph story says today is a day like Neil Armstrong This man is our first splash or not So he compares earnest rightly so to American heroes like Neil Armstrong sure those Aldrin, etc

[00:22:10] Yeah, also seem to have compared Neil Armstrong who was a person to a day Well guys also the moon landing was faked splash mountains a real thing, that's right, it's fair

[00:22:23] That's what they'd have you think that's why they've turned it into something else. Yeah. Have you ever been on Splash Mountain, Audrey? I didn't think I've never been to the moon Is real well not anymore

[00:22:36] Okay, so Ralph story who you know, he's a news anchor so I'm like like Dallas rains Southern California people will note that name. He's a The weatherman still alive and still looks like he's 35

[00:22:51] Story turns out not his actual name. His actual birth name is Ralph Taylor nerd Snyder Oh, but because the news anchor he's Ralph story. Okay, so now we cut to Cameron Crono Meyer, he's a field anchor Who never takes his finger out of his ear the whole time?

[00:23:12] You know the whole like newscaster thing of finger in his ear Yeah, he never took his finger out of his ear while he's reporting your piece and they're really under to really hear his own voice

[00:23:23] Or maybe he got training from the same place that the Gibb brothers got their vocal training because they never took their Finger out of there either He was trying to get some

[00:23:32] Pirates water out of his ear the whole time because he obviously hadn't been on Splash Mountain because Ernest is in fact the first Right, okay, so he never takes the finger out of his ear, but he says that he's covered inaugurations and Super Bowls

[00:23:45] But this event has captured the world's attention Unlike anything before Ernest will be the first person to ride Splash Mountain. Yes, which good for him I mean, I can't think of anybody better and Jason just just so we're clear about how we open the show. Yeah

[00:24:02] Thus far testing had only been done with empty logs and sandbags So in 1989 sandbags were people Well, so I don't know Jim Varney was in actual danger is what you're telling us. That's correct Lives matter. That's right. It's true So so so Cameron our finger-in-the-ear anchor

[00:24:28] it says that testing had thus far been done with sandbags empty and be logs if Ernest is successful he will be a Legend and he says if he's not successful, he will become a part of the mountain

[00:24:40] so what Cameron is intimating here is that if he fails he will be smashed and Effectively be smashed into the actual mountain left there abandoned and well dark Start again. There's no recovery team for this incident. That's right Yeah

[00:24:57] it's either he makes it through or he is a part of the mountain and They started work on Tiana's and his his desiccated corpse was right behind one of those Gators so we could just animate this Those briars are sharp people. That's all I'm saying Yeah Okay

[00:25:13] So Cameron has not been able to yet talk to earnest because he is currently at the daredevil training facility It is run by his best friend Vern. I like that. We're getting a backstory as some as people who are the unwilling Co-stars of this show

[00:25:29] I'm glad that we that we own something that we have an interest and what would peak to my interest is that like is This adding to the earnest cannon. Yeah, do we know that Vern before this? Do we know that Vern runs a daredevil camp?

[00:25:44] I know no this is never to the can this is new. This is new stuff. I love this Well, it seems like kind of a big deal too to own a daredevil, right? That's fair. Yeah That's that's really interesting to add to his his panoply of jobs

[00:26:02] Now Taryn we're gonna get into the various tests that are performed at this daredevil training facility, right? First of all, yeah, it sounds impressive by the way. The first test is a tire swing Taryn Okay, and earnest has twisted the tire swing the tire

[00:26:20] So taught that he is going to test Centrifugal forces or G. What does he call them? He calls them those forces He's gonna so first of all, he tests the gee whiz forces by

[00:26:35] Tightening this tire so taught that when he sits in it and releases he is going to spin so fast That he'll be able to test the gee whiz forces the second thing I'd like to point out earnest Jim Varney is from Kentucky

[00:26:48] All of the things that have been produced are basically produced in Nashville, Tennessee There is no way that this training facility is anywhere near Southern California for those of you who live in the South

[00:27:01] There are there's kudzu on the trees right kudzu is native to so they're native to Japan China Indian subcontinent super invasive like They called them grow what is it called the the foot at night plant because they grow so fast

[00:27:19] It is invaded the South. So he either this thing was either filmed in, Tennessee Japan China or the Indian subcontinent in any event. He is not going to get to Disneyland in a few minutes

[00:27:31] No, okay. How are we to believe that this training center is anywhere near Southern California? Thank you the splash mountain ride was faked See, that's what I'm saying. Audrey. That's all I'm saying. Maybe the South was faked Maybe it was all done on the back lot somewhere

[00:27:50] Documentary so I'm so this is big news. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well the South will rise again This is like loose change. This is the this is the 2000 mules of the Disney sphere Okay, so back to the news broadcast everybody

[00:28:05] We're what Ralph story tells us that earnest ride will be testing the limits of human endurance and human ingenuity At least waiting in line sure did I'll tell you that well, no, he didn't have to wait in line I know but I'm the first that's what I mean

[00:28:19] Like the the ride maybe I don't know but waiting in line definitely tests your endurance Speaking of testing the limits of human endurance Jason. I believe I can see that Asher wants to yeah

[00:28:29] Okay, sure. Here come over a second. Sorry. He's been so patient. My new mama's difficulty saying bio do to her thick Russian accent It's a problem. I understand that Okay, I would be hard

[00:28:43] Time with by you too. Yeah now Jason. Is that your how do you like your new mom? He's asleep again. Sorry, but I mean if he has other thoughts then this earnest guy seems cool

[00:28:54] Is there a movie in which he plays basketball as a major plot point? I think that would be great There is actually I sure yeah nice. Oh, wow. I didn't Karen. Did you see that one? No, I don't remember that one earnest head she says

[00:29:09] Okay, so we then cut to Marjorie Hastings Hardwick who was another field reporter where she what a nice Yeah, so this is a nice little promotional also my favorite favorite congressperson by the way Marjorie Hastings Hardwick. Yes She was actually filming in Southern California, but anyway

[00:29:29] So she explains that this ride is based on the animated portions who's very clear to say the animated portions. Oh, yeah They mean it was already just a little bit there, you know Very not the other stuff Marketable bits animals

[00:29:50] This is appealing to the furry crowd of the 80s She points out that this is yeah again animated portions of the 1940s hit song of the South and that designers have created the perfect

[00:30:03] Simulation to bring these beloved characters to life and she mentioned the longest flume ride ever built At 87 feet tall this mountain is 87 feet tall. Did she say that or did you just want to throw that in? Okay

[00:30:19] I don't say anything on the show. That was not said by someone on TV. Okay, okay It's how I got this job That's right. Then we get back to earnest at the training facility now now at this point this first test tire swing

[00:30:37] Gee whiz force right? The second test is earnest doing pull-ups. Mm-hmm. So earnest is doing pull-ups I think he's on pull up number 238 when we cut to him and then He then shows his Aptitude by putting his feet on the pull-up bar

[00:30:55] So he has his feet hands on the pull-up bar and his feet on the pull-up bar and then he starts to do Crunches while his feet on the pull-up bar and then he falls far. Yeah

[00:31:06] He does I mean it is really important to be very fit if you're going to sit in a boat Yeah Like Eric said he doesn't get very far but I tell you what he got farther than I would that's that's good. Yeah

[00:31:19] You're right home. Yeah, one is better than none. That's true. That's true by definition Now, I don't want to I you know, I hate to like bring the whole like Hollywood magic

[00:31:31] I don't want to like spoil it for everyone, but those aren't his feet. What how did they do that? Are they very sweet? Probably burns, but they're not his feet. I don't think he's actually pulling up

[00:31:43] I don't believe he could have done 238 pull-ups, but I don't want to spoil it for anybody After he's done doing his one crunch Then we go back to the news broadcast. Okay. Yeah, and we we cut to skip Binkman

[00:31:57] Who is a feature reporter in the belly of the mountain fake name skip Binkman? I can't be real No, I agree. You clearly did not grow up around Los Angeles Television nope, I was probably I might have been conceived the year this came out

[00:32:15] That's a result of it It depends. I was born in 1990 So 89 is Ernest your father Have you seen them together in the same room before I mean wow, I gotta go ask my dad Listen, you have some very expressive facial features Here's my best Ernest impression. I'm Audrey

[00:32:40] Yes, getting spinning image. I think you are related. I think today is a great day to ride Candy it's yeah, it's like all my impersonations uncanny. Yeah Know what I mean? Okay, so skipping pins in the belly of the mountain

[00:33:04] This is I thought was kind of cool because he is in the pumping station where the 500,000 gallons of water per day are cycled through the ride He then drops his clipboard into the water. I really thought you were gonna say he then dropped his

[00:33:18] The dumbest part of my brain was Even though I've seen this So did anybody notice that he dropped his clipboard in the water while watching yeah I wondered how much damage that would do Exactly. I was like, why would they let him do this? It was a string

[00:33:39] Maybe they could fish it out or what? Well, there's filters all over I'm sure but still that what a pain in the butt for a bad joke. Yeah Well also as something that is supposed to be kind of an advertisement

[00:33:49] It really kind of communicates to a potential part goer that like yeah stuff falls in there You may got hit by a clipboard when you're on right, you know, I mean maybe we can talk about it later

[00:34:01] but I was noticing, you know towards the end when they actually like Spoiler alert when he goes down the friggin ride. I'm like this is kind of build is very terrifying and he we don't know He's gonna survive or not

[00:34:18] Were you not terrified of this right I mean that's a big assumption that I had a loving, you know parental Support system that would take me to Disneyland So yeah, and you still don't know I was I was kind of afraid I was afraid of it

[00:34:37] I think I was afraid of it some to some extent But here's the thing Eric. You're always just afraid of the drop. You're not afraid of the the yeah, that's it, right? Yeah, yeah, of course. It's just the drop. Yeah, I didn't see this until a lot later

[00:34:49] I don't remember seeing this in in 89. I don't know. I don't mean the movie I mean the ride were you not terrified of that drop when you were a kid? No, I loved it I think I mean unless I mean they were there were much more

[00:35:01] terrifying drops at Six Flags They had a similar flume ride. That was basically you just go up around a corner and then come back down Eric is basically the MK ultra agent of the show where he just you know

[00:35:14] Give him a code and he does the thing and he goes I don't remember anything. I don't know what's going on I think the only thing that I had any Fear about was more like an

[00:35:25] Insane fear that like those spikes might accidentally hit me the the briar patch. Oh, yeah Yeah, and again the the dumb brain part was didn't take into consideration that like they probably made it so that wouldn't happen

[00:35:42] Mistakes happen though, you know, then your dad takes you to the exit of the ride and says Dan Do you see anybody decapitated? I Know we had already developed a more complicated relationship. I said

[00:35:57] Okay, so now we're back to earnest, okay now he's presumably back at the training facility Now he's in front of a chalkboard with a chalk illustration of Splash Mountain, dude Now he reminds himself if not us that water runs downhill not up, right?

[00:36:14] So when he lands at the bottom of the mountain he will land on his feet Which is classic perfect sense. Yeah. Yeah Because and the justification for landing on your feet is that water runs that way? That's correct. So

[00:36:29] Yeah, yeah, I didn't get it. What else runs feet feet run through water runs noses run America runs on barely Duncan yeah, maybe he's implying that he's a kitty cat

[00:36:42] Could be nine lives. How many movies has he done Adam up? It's nine. I'm gonna look it up right now That's your pencils now So by Taryn, this is a chalkboard and he's writing on this chalkboard with a piece of chalk, which he then drops

[00:36:59] Rather than bending down to pick up the chalk. He decides to use the pen that's in his pocket So he starts writing on the chalkboard with a pen You're not supposed to do that. No, you're not but you can imagine how annoying

[00:37:14] Writing with a pen is on a chalkboard He says isn't that annoying it's almost like and he takes his fingernails And he runs it down the chalkboard not for a second For multiple seconds goes on way too long it just goes on and on

[00:37:33] We watched it as a family last night and my wife literally Yelled out loud the entire duration of the scratch so we couldn't hear it Yeah, it was it was very bad and I didn't like it at all

[00:37:47] I got a very visceral reaction to it. You know what? It was like Jason was like nails on a chalkboard Oh Little womp you would you like to hear it? I have that cute. Oh, no Taking the earbuds up

[00:38:02] Burn if you got any more chalk, never mind. I'll just use this pin I'm immune I'm so glad you can't hear it. That's great. I'm sure the listener just heard it. So I apologize on Jason's back I only just realized how similar he sounds to Sam. Yeah

[00:38:34] Like so much that would be like husband sounds like yes, literally. Yes, that's yeah That's the joke. I did not ever realize I Realize that yeah, he's a cross between earnest and South Park character I

[00:38:52] Have development on the possible nine lives. Okay connection the theory. All right good. Here we go Ernest goes to camp. Okay, Ernest goes to jail. Yep, Ernest scared stupid. Yep, Ernest saves Christmas. Yep, Ernest goes to school

[00:39:05] Yep, Ernest goes to Africa. Okay, Ernest and the family. Okay, Ernest rides again. Okay slam duck earnest Ernest gets emphysema and dies of cancer in Now We all said Ernest goes to Splash Mountain, but that's not an official release that's a promotional thing. There's also Hey Vern

[00:39:29] It's my family which doesn't have earnest in the title That's kind of just what I'm going with and then the world as I see it Which has no implication of earnest in it And then the only the only possible toss-up is the earnest film festival which

[00:39:48] Might be a compilation of all of his most amusing antics But it might also be its own movie who else is gonna watch Ernest saves Christmas tonight I'm sure you are. I'm totally gonna okay

[00:40:05] So it's Aaron we're back to the training facility where earnest is in a pool in a swimming pool complete with floaties on his arms and He is he has water skis on his feet and he is holding on to a water ski rope

[00:40:19] That rope is attached to a pack of sled dogs And those sled dogs are going to pull him Sorry, just an update to me. The earnest film festival is in fact a collection of his hilarious antics and hijinks from previous commercials

[00:40:35] So we're at nine. No, is it is the earnest film festival with an a like Like these are genuine films You know what I already closed my laptop, but I don't open it again, but it's a good question

[00:40:50] Anyway, I don't know how the sled dogs pulling earnest through a pool are going to help him with the splash mountain but No, did I sorry did I miss being able to make the water sports joke? Yeah

[00:41:05] Okay, I'm not gonna go back into it. No, no, it's fine. We just finished Okay, though joke what that I was planning was gonna be you mentioned that earnest talks about the water sports training and then

[00:41:16] It's implied that earnest, you know, anyway, he's a villain your own joke. Yeah audience. I missed it. I'm sorry Well, I'm glad that you referenced it and I don't get it water sports is

[00:41:29] Possible double entendre for a thing people enjoy doing we can talk about at the break Educate Jimmy splash mountain water. Thank you. I don't get it. It's like waterboarding Oh Very weird cases it could be alright, so what else have That's the show

[00:41:51] Jason they mentioned things. I don't understand. Yeah, I asked follow-up questions and Dan says Google it or don't yeah Well, that's what I was trying to get away from Okay My favorite part of the special yeah is we cut back to Marjorie. All right. Mm-hmm

[00:42:07] No, Marjorie is now in he is now interviewing Different three named Marjorie Okay, so we're back to Marjorie this is my favorite part of the special she's interviewing Bruce Gordon who's an actual imagineer

[00:42:29] Now he's the show producer for splash mountain now I to like yourself Jason and probably Eric and maybe if she'd watched it Taryn is That we were all hoping for Tony Baxter, right? Of course famously, you know, that's what I assumed or Commissioner Gordon

[00:42:49] Or Commissioner Gordon, but we got Bruce Gordon now the best part about this is that Marjorie is asking Bruce Gordon some very elaborate questions and Just as is about to answer

[00:43:02] He gets one word out and she takes the mic back and continues basically answering for him. I laughed out loud I thought it was very funny. I also laughed out loud. It is an actual funny. Yes. Yeah, it was pretty clever

[00:43:14] Should we you want to hear one? Yeah, bye with Disney Imagineer and the producer of that spectacular ride Bruce Gordon Thank You Ralph Well Bruce we're nearing the big moment and you must be nervous because as the show producer you are responsible for everything

[00:43:28] I guess these feel smells and experiences when they go into an attraction, isn't that right? That's right There's a tremendous amount we're gonna be showing the folks at home some of those lavish scenes And this one is so impeccably timed

[00:43:42] Yeah, the the rest of them are just as well-timed but not as good as the first not as good But then he learns and when she asked him questions later, it's one word answers and silence

[00:43:52] Yes, and you know what? I didn't like that as much not as much No, I thought it was very funny continued the joke But it was then he kind of got self-aware and they got self-aware of it

[00:44:02] And I have a feeling it was more of a corporate thing going we can't have our people looking dumb He should really you know what? I mean? That's what that's what the vibe that I got or it's like, okay

[00:44:11] Yeah, but yeah, so the next scene I'd like for the the rest of the panel here to help explain to me Okay, because now we cut to Skip our buddy skip who dropped his clipboard. Yeah, I think yeah is now on a bench

[00:44:26] Okay, he's in a bench pointing out a new house that was built in Critter country now I think the purpose of this segment he's gonna throw the house into the water is what's gonna happen With his clipboard

[00:44:42] He's trying to get the the house to go fetch the clipboard He's a big dummy So he's sitting on a bench and I think the purpose of this segment is to tell the Audience the people that this is no longer bear country. It's critter country. Yeah, right

[00:45:01] I think that was the purpose but what happens after he starts talking is that a Child comes and stares at him Okay for way too long and then people just Start walking in frame. They're just walking through and and then some like

[00:45:19] Some grandpa comes and takes a picture of him and I don't understand this segment Can anyone explain what the filmmakers were thinking with it? I got it. He's a ghost and they couldn't see him No, the kid could I is it beyond the haunted mansion right then?

[00:45:35] He doesn't know he's dead he has an unfinished business Union specified break. My theory is that they did this to drive the hammer The drive the nail to further the point that this is a real hammer to to earnest

[00:45:54] Power tool were L the fact that this is not a real because if it were a real newscast They'd like hold people back, but the whole thing is a joke So, of course, they're like, whoa. Whoa. Whoa It's a real

[00:46:11] Promotional video but the newscast part of it is it's part of the farce the earnest isn't watching this. I Okay, so my honest like non-bit answer is I think what they Intended to convey with that is like hey

[00:46:27] Scaredy-pants parents or children we have this place that you can hang out and no one will like stare at you other than this child Who's extremely rude? Why do parents need a bench to sit at and not be seen?

[00:46:40] Because they're old and they don't like a full cool fun things like kids do you know? It is a running theme Taryn throughout This is like any parents who are squeamish close your eyes during this part because it's a scary ride only made for kids

[00:46:55] Kind of thing okay, this is a Just like parents are dumb kids are cool. Yeah Steal your your grandma's pills and sell them at school for extra money to go to Disneyland

[00:47:08] That's right. I you know what like watching it just it just kind of seemed like one of those kind of classic TV news anchor bits where people just are Oblivious to what's going on around them?

[00:47:20] That's all that's all I really got but it it seemed more like an Advertisement to not go to Disneyland because it was so busy That you couldn't even see the guy and I'm like there's so many

[00:47:32] I just I haven't been in years right just seeing that scene where those people are walking by I'm like I I'm Getting nervous. There's too many people for in this in the little square for me. I don't want to go

[00:47:44] Why would I go? Why would I go and sit and do that? Jason if you were to go back. Yeah, how would you plan it? I wouldn't oh But if you wanted to go back I would tell you to go to conci ears

[00:47:57] You got a concierge comm send yourself an email and then answer yourself from a different email address great. Yeah That's what I would I've done it. Yeah, I was just gonna say I feel like you've already have you tried this I'm my only client so Love it Forseller

[00:48:19] Okay Let's take a break was we're cutting. We're gonna take a quick break everybody. I'm gonna come right back We're gonna learn more about how earnest actually did on the ride did he survive was this the thing that ended him?

[00:48:31] We don't actually really know so hang on everyone. It's ears up. We'll be right back Back to ears up where the opinions never stop ever Thanks for hanging on everybody we are back. We're gonna dive into splash mountain again. Oh

[00:48:51] Good well yeah, and by we yeah, we mean earnest earnest It's this is the point where we've all is all been leading up to this moment in time We're getting close to a countdown clock the whole time on the screen every time they bring it up

[00:49:03] It's like that annoying friend who's like we'll be there in five minutes. We'll be there in four minutes Yeah, we'll be there in two minutes It was weird cuz I made a note about the clock where it sort of added this like

[00:49:14] Sense of legitimate urgency to the whole thing which sort of made it more absurd You know here's a countdown clock to the moment through an earnest is the first person to go and you're like oh This is dumb

[00:49:31] For me it was like now I know how much time is left in this special That brings up a good question which we might want to address after we go through the whole thing how

[00:49:42] Aware is this for lack of a better term movie of how ridiculous this whole thing is I? Feel like earnest is very self-aware Comedian yeah, yeah, yeah I mean He uses the term flumer zoomer like five times in the thing and I kind of loved it

[00:50:00] And then he used it and used it and used it like I hate it now I Feel like in watching a lot of what he says is improvised

[00:50:09] That's the impression I got I I guess what I'm trying to figure out is is this like a Freddy got fingered situation where it's like intended to Be as obnoxious as it is but like in a very real way where it's just like no I am actually intentionally

[00:50:26] making you feel this thing and That's the humor is that I made this thing to make you feel this way about it Here's what I got out of it, and I guess we I mean we're in it

[00:50:38] Let's talk about it now. It felt like it felt very segmented where the the parts with earnest right? We're very earnest was very on-brand the parts with Disney stuff was someone within Disney trying to have an original thought and matching the vibes and

[00:50:54] They sort of did a good job, but it came off as campy or earnest just came off as you know sort of Bumbling self-important, and it it's sort of matched up, but not really

[00:51:08] Yeah for me it was very much like we have two producers and hopefully the project will come together in editing right yes They were yeah, they were definitely done independent of each other. There's no doubt

[00:51:19] I just really like how much he's he evolved the character after taking it from his one-man show the importance of being No That was the 10th thing he was gonna make but he died that's right God I also liked that the mics had

[00:51:38] Splash Mountain Network on them. Oh, yeah, yeah Which is so good the short-lived Splash Mountain News Network? Yeah, what else would they report about? half Think they would have two news stories this and then the closing This famously network lasted 22 minutes another photo has been removed from

[00:52:03] Somebody else showed the boobs All right so Taryn we're back with earnest he's now here to collect burn he pulls up in his 1989 Chevy Cavalier Was and he's Sponsorship and he reminds us that he's gonna be his first the world's first splash or not However

[00:52:30] earnest left the car in neutral and As he's talking to Vern about their trip to Disneyland again somewhere in the south. Yeah He he left it in neutral and the car Rolls into Vern's kitchen. Oh, no now. We don't see the actual collision into the kitchen training kitchen

[00:52:49] Oh fair. Yeah, it must not be unless he held sit at his house Yeah, we're not we're not at the training center anymore because oh Ernest is there to pick him up from his house. Okay, right?

[00:53:00] Okay, so the training the training center is separate then is a separate facility I don't know. I feel like anybody in the south who has a business. It's a home-based business like I

[00:53:10] Feel like really in the south is it's supposed to be Southern California supposed to be nearby Disneyland, but Didn't really get that impression Well, how is earnest gonna be there in mere moments and then we cut to him live at the thing

[00:53:24] Movie magic I mean you know how does how does you know Batman develop all his you know cool thing All right anyway so we then we're We're yeah, that's Alfred really is the answer sir. No where the soldering iron is Yes, mr.

[00:53:44] So we go back to news central where the splash Mountain News Central earnest has now arrived go fight crime for Certainly master I feel bad for Jimmy Okay, I don't feel bad for Jimmy anymore. Thank you. That's also the show all right

[00:54:06] So Ernest has now arrived at Disneyland everybody yay, and They announced that he's arrived at Disneyland, and he's making his way down Main Street, okay? He's on People's shoulders Taryn like it like a like a like a king would be carried on chair lovely right

[00:54:25] Huge crowd carrying down Main Street, okay, I would love to be the part. I would love to be there signs they have these horrific earnest Earnest faces that have his eyes cut out so as they move around the background changes, and he

[00:54:43] Has these like glowing eyeballs? Yeah, man you had a better quality version than I did I didn't notice that In this thing so so Taryn he they introduced they say he's entered Disneyland And he's coming down Main Street. You've been to Disneyland before I have yes

[00:54:59] He I will get back to Being ahead he addresses burn in the camera whose kitchen had just been destroyed by a car Mm-hmm, and he said Vern I've been to Frontierland and Tomorrowland and Adventureland

[00:55:16] And I'm like how is it possible you just got in you're going down Main Street. I think this this further speaks to my teleportation theory could be or multiple earnest theory

[00:55:30] Yes, I like to call it. There's more than one of them. Maybe he's living all his nine lives Here's his interview on Main Street To get a word with our man of the hour Mr.. Morel

[00:56:01] Mr.. Morel oh you can call me earnest or knucklehead or big guy okay knucklehead Tell me are you ready for this historic moment? Yeah What's it gonna be the ride Splash Mountain? Oh, yeah? Yeah? I'm practice and rehearsed and now I am a mean

[00:56:21] Lean flume zooming machine know what I mean well How does it feel to be the first person to actually ride this awesome mountain he said cake you show me the mountain All right now tell me is your famous friend burn here today

[00:56:35] No burn couldn't make it today somebody foolishly drove a car into his kitchen So he had to stay in cleanup, but he's got a nice TV with a little screen and he's watching hey We're burnt I haven't seen the mouse yet

[00:56:47] But I've seen adventure land and fantasy land and frontier land burn you'd love it y'all to be here Someone foolishly drove a car through his kitchen well see and Jimmy. He only said he saw them so I mean

[00:57:03] He is in the hub at that point. He maybe didn't experience them yet That's a good point and he hasn't seen the mouse although we're Fox bear bear and bear rabbit are there, that's right

[00:57:13] Yeah, maybe this was the Disney's subtle way of having him point out the brilliance of the hub system And he's projecting the toontown will be built someday So I call them Sorry, Jimmy

[00:57:34] Why do they call Brer rabbit and Brer Fox and Brer bear is that how you're supposed to eat them Brer Well Brer Audrey I Don't know everything is rare something though. There's Brer frog. It's a brother. It's a brother brother. Yeah, oh Okay, so you're Brer

[00:57:58] Brer Audrey I'm sis Audrey Oh Sir probably sir sir sir means brother Yeah, it's like shorts like be our Apostrophe er something like that rare. I always used to think it was other higher it would like everybody was

[00:58:22] So Jason thank you for having the audio by the way cuz I wrote every word of that interview down Man no this whole thing that we can do is playing clips of stuff. It's great. I love that yeah, man We should have talked before

[00:58:36] Anyway, so it's good practice for you. He enters the queue Yeah, he's he entered her the heroes welcome everybody's cheering the aforementioned signs etc. Oh sure sure The unless Jason you have this interview the interviewer. I think this is skip skip at this point

[00:58:54] It's Cameron at this point asks Ernest if he has any last-minute thoughts yeah, I can find them well you don't have to But Ernest says he had a thought but stopped thinking about it at the last minute mmm

[00:59:08] Okay classic and then my nose my second favorite joke in the whole special is He's ready to ride and as you know Taryn this ride is a log flume And so he says call me a log and the audience says you're a log

[00:59:31] Ernest is just dad jokes with injuries. That's basically all in our Yeah, well this is like it. This is an audience This is a bunch of actors that they hired right and they filmed this before

[00:59:44] The park was opened or after it closed like it wasn't I feel like a lot of it was like audience people I think it was like real people It probably, but that's my like were they park goers or they friends and family of Imagineers

[00:59:58] I think that's the most likely scenario friends and family. I would imagine in my my headcanon It was people who lined up to be the first on the ride, and then they got and then they got to do this You know

[01:00:14] So it's like you know when you go, and they're like shooting the curse like the Christmas special or whatever It's like okay. You stay here, and you hang out. You're part of the right Yeah Yeah, I could because people are too

[01:00:26] You know I was making notes about like the fashion of the day And there's people that are very much like tucked in tight t-shirts into shorts and being a dad and very very colorful Sweaters, and you can't really get a beat if it's hot or if it's cold

[01:00:41] Because people are very you know clothing weird about it, and just it. I don't know it just seemed more More realistically average than than a production Like I think some of it was produced And then other parts of it was was what you just described

[01:00:58] It was like random people who happened to be in the right place at the right time Yeah, and got to see this news going on I'm just comforted by the the reality that if something like this were to be made now, and they had

[01:01:10] Regular park goers in the that scene we would have we would have known because like half of them would have been wearing most expensive day ever What's your other favorite t-shirts to see in the park stand All right, so we're almost there guys

[01:01:35] So Ernest it falls into the boat first headfirst he trips and it falls into the boat headfirst They pick him up put him back in he starts to ride. He is very confident Oh, he's done a lot of training at the daredevil training facility

[01:01:48] He is very confident so much so he puts his feet up. Oh Okay in the log. Yeah, give a little wave and he's out Very unsafe you know what Eric that is an interesting point because it is very unsafe

[01:02:02] And it's funny that this is part of their like promotional thing and they're showing somebody do something that they definitely should not be doing Yeah, I think that this actually was not produced by Disney

[01:02:21] I think it was just sort of licensed by like they put a stamp on it I really don't think this is Disney produce, but anyway it was Eisner times though. You never really know that is true Eisner was I think more willing to Yeah, rec was the director

[01:02:39] Eisner was more willing to do that kind of stuff Weird I mean you definitely wouldn't get away with it now But I also feel like it plays into the earnest character So I would imagine there were some some conversations behind the scenes of like look

[01:02:55] You're not gonna like the things that we're gonna do but earnest would be doing this yeah Yeah, and and how many people watch this go Oh, I want to go on that right now and go and like I'm putting my feet up earnest did it

[01:03:10] by the way this special came out in August of 1989 the ride opened July 17th 1989 but that's beside the point hmm. I was Definitely conceived then okay Congratulations though earnest conceived you on this ride. Oh wait no math. I'm an idiot okay never mind

[01:03:31] Back to business so the first thing he sees is a show scene with animatronics and everything he's very excited about these animatronic He has yet to go on the first drop

[01:03:40] Fans of the ride know that you do not see an animatronic or show scene until after the first drop okay? Yeah, whoa? false more false advertising Yes He has his first drop. He goes on it twice somehow

[01:03:55] Do you hold on do you think that they did that on purpose so that to like trick the audience when they actually go on It I think what it is is like. Oh, what a nice relaxing boat ride how fun there's characters whatnot

[01:04:06] Then there's a drop. I think that was the idea yeah So just for viewers and this there, but I don't know anyway so so at the end of the first drop They showed a couple of times. He's I don't know exactly what he's doing

[01:04:21] He's pulling on a rope at one point while he's going down the drop like he's tying himself to the the band Is that what it is? That's what I got out of it Yeah

[01:04:30] And and now skip our buddy who dropped the clipboard in the in the 500,000 gallons of water is standing on the edge of the flume Waiting for earnest to come by and he has a very earnest also unsafe by the way yes

[01:04:43] he has an earnest with an a moment where he's just Thanking the audience and being a part of this moment in history and how grateful he is While he's waiting for earnest to come by

[01:04:55] While he's giving his speech about how grateful he is to be a part of this earnest comes by after having gone down the first drop He's wearing an oxygen mask So skip misses him coming by and then

[01:05:10] So he's so panicked by this first drop right and then the rest of the ride is just kind of they don't show it Right, they kind of cut back and forth and little one-liners whatnot He's going up the final hill and

[01:05:27] Remember he wore an oxygen mask after this first hill He is now so at ease that he says he wished he brought a book Yeah, well it's classic earnest You're over the thing now I'm just like chilled out and then when he goes down

[01:05:45] The big drop at first of all at the beginning of the big drop. He says the air is getting thin up here and Then he goes down at one point. He gets electrocuted in his hair

[01:05:57] Hmm is lit like yeah, that was a weird sequence where it was almost like we it was sped up Yeah, it's like he was just getting freaked out and almost like he was taken to the netherworld

[01:06:09] I think it might have been implying that he was seeing his life flash before his life That's what I got like and because part of that sequence was all the stuff that he had already seen. Yeah. Yeah, I

[01:06:22] Just want to point out as Jimmy as you were describing that I it tickled me very much that It's impossible to refer to anything as the big drop without something like you are a child any of us

[01:06:35] Because it is it that's a most appropriate most fitting way to call it is in fact the big drop But you know seems like seeing it again just now He's not electrocuted. It's his hair. He's so scared Yeah

[01:06:51] Turns white and he goes back and forth yeah shocked. He's he's just like Yeah, I expected him to round the last corner and get out of the boat But Yeah, so so basically the film speeds up he spins around life flashes before his eyes

[01:07:10] Whatever the case may be that is the end of what we see of the ride Terrence at this point all we've seen of This ride a show scene with some animatronics first drop second drop. That's it Yeah, well what else is there in the ride? Yeah

[01:07:24] So then he finishes the ride in that the news anchor or the the field person says That they we hope we haven't seen the demise of the world's first blaster not so they're hoping he has not died, okay Okay, this is a promotional film. Yes

[01:07:39] It's like at the end of phantasmic where you think Mickey Mouse might have actually exploded himself You can only do here's the moment Well I don't know skip it's hard to tell there doesn't seem to be any sign of recovery oh no

[01:07:54] Well, I hope we haven't witnessed the demise of America's first blast or not wait a minute skip I Think I see something coming I'm gonna say possibly one of the most nerdy things about this relating to our other show

[01:08:14] The Supreme Resort. I believe this was a reference to how and I want to point out I know that this is ridiculous, but I mean it sincerely so we're in that territory

[01:08:23] They talked about when this ride initially opened how it's a feature of it that you go down the drop the big drop as they say and It's not entirely clear from the outside where you go and this moment

[01:08:37] I think plays on that where it's like all we know is we don't know where he went All we know is he went on Okay adds to the argument that Walt Disney World is missing that element Yeah, you can see him the whole way

[01:09:00] That's a different show all together. I know I know I'm sorry all right so Ernest is tongue-tied at the end of the ride He said he would recommend Splash Mountain to anyone He says rides like Splash Mountain keep you young and then he says like blood transfusions

[01:09:18] organ transplants and cosmetic surgery Ahead of his time. He's also not wrong. Maybe burn is this blood? Want to bring up that since I just happen to have it paused right now

[01:09:33] Skips keep I want to say keyboard, but it's not a keyboard the clipboard. Thank you his clipboard is on Ernest stomach So Ernest comes in from the flu Laying down, and he's holding on to the railings

[01:09:45] And then of course he's holding on so tight that he the joke is he rips them out And he takes them off, but as he's laying there the clipboards on his Like what why does he have a clipboard I thought it was like taking notes Wow

[01:10:05] When you're a good enough storyteller, you know to resolve all the threads, it's almost like Chekhov's clipboard It's true. I'm a McGulligan Mulligan McGonagall MacGyver Kyle McGonagall McGuffin McGuffin, thank you

[01:10:27] All right almost done almost done. He feels great. He passes none of us could think of the name of the kid from Homeland Macaulay Culkin Asher's ever seen a Macaulay Culkin Still awake sure for a second no no over here dummy come here

[01:10:45] Oh, yeah off skateboarding the drop on Splash Mountain was so big that I fell out. I'm glad they're changing it Yeah, I don't think they're changing that part though. I feel like they're doing yeah

[01:10:55] They're just changing what the way it looks not the way it feels still there Dad told stranger ladies to look at how what his butt was for like three hours afterwards That how he met your new mom I believe I believe he met new mom through an agency

[01:11:22] Information bring a little EU over here. Yeah, okay two sentences guys here we go I think half of the show is just is Jimmy and just reassuring everyone that eventually the show ends Very astute assessment Jason yes, thank you. We all can't wait when we listen

[01:11:43] It's very it's a complimentary Sort of feeling to what I love so much about the tiki room Which is that you see the different elements reveal themselves over time yeah? And then at the end they sing a song telling you what you've just seen It's true

[01:12:00] Jason the tiki room is a show that was Anyway, he passes out. Yeah after he passes out people walk over him They walk on him on the way to the ride so this heroes Whatever is gone because they're just stepping on him now, and then the anchor mr.

[01:12:16] Story says that this is in honor of these the exact words in honor of his perseverance and self-denial Can anybody explain that no no? I feel like the cutting room floor so yeah, I guess he couldn't smoke while he was riding in Just hop on for the picture

[01:12:37] Yeah, don't denial. Maybe it was a reference Maybe it was an like off off script moment where he was acknowledging that Jim Varney probably was Jonesen for a smoke the whole time Self-denial like the river denial his river river splash mountain I got it

[01:12:56] It's a jungle cruise reference there. We go. It's all clear to me That's the end of the special everybody and we're gonna watch this while we're watching it. You know what we're gonna Do we're gonna have a beer? Oh?

[01:13:06] You know what it's gonna be no no it's gonna be the zippity-doo dot ale from smashington hill brewing That's not a real thing. It's a real thing. There's no way are you serious a It's it's a farmhouse ale stays on 9% alcohol by boy

[01:13:24] That is a very high alcohol it is and we have to to watch this It's a strong hydrogen stays on brewed with fresh lemon zest and grated ginger Sriracha ace hops are used to further enhance the lemon character Ginger

[01:13:45] Well earnest seems like a mean potatoes kind of guy to me and because he's a splash or not That sounds a whole lot like the word astronaut, so I'm like boom space food, but splash food

[01:13:58] So it was either food that tastes good while it's wet or food that can be hydrated using splash mountain water So I think we're gonna go purchase on eBay by the way for $5,000 instant mashed potatoes like a MRE of

[01:14:16] roast beef or like pot roast or something and then For dessert maybe just some tang Maybe just some pain no it was just rehydrated powdered tobacco you just drink it Good news cigarette juice You see cigarette juice Oh God Okay

[01:14:46] Before we actually play the music I want to give some context here. I understand that people are upset that one of their favorite rides is Changing I get that we may or may not share the same

[01:15:00] Point of view on that. That's fine. I can relate to that feeling is my main point and This mainly goes out to the people of Florida Who might be able to Get something illustrative out of this imagine Tomorrowland and imagine how much

[01:15:20] how many things used to be there and Or actually even just imagine your own Tomorrowland if you're at this if you're a Florida listener and go to Disney World Imagine that they take that they were to say hey, I have an idea Let's shut down

[01:15:37] Major rides and close them forever in order to Make the people mover go fast like we're gonna take so in California They we had something called Circle Vision. You might remember it. It was a wonderful little place that you can go and watch

[01:15:56] The movie that was on some screens all around you. It felt like you were about to vomit It was wonderful and it was one of the fate the air conditioning in there was amazing So they closed that and they also shut down the people mover and they also

[01:16:13] shut down the Rocket jets, which used to be on top of people mover and they moved it down to the front They've moved it essentially to mainstream in order to build a little thing. We call rocket rocks now Rocket rods were was open Oh

[01:16:51] Have you not listened to the show anyway Jason, please play my musical selection Hold on I want to download it You certainly don't know beyond some sort of list Now This is the music from rocket rides. I want you to take everything that I just said

[01:17:16] and if any part of you said I Can't wait to ride this new ride listen And just take in how wrong you were especially taken that this this this not only took your Tomorrowland from you and this Aggressively destroyed the track that it was on over time

[01:17:42] It's a very dark. Oh Yeah, I'm song Yeah, and Dan I'm having a hard time connecting this to the movie. So is Dan so basically Unlike you he's trying. I know I just want to share If anyone is upset that they're

[01:18:00] The ride that they once loved called Mountain Is no longer Splash Mountain it needs to still have a functional track Hmm. Okay. Okay. Okay, okay

[01:18:14] Summer is just around the corner and our friends at the 21st Amendment brewery are welcoming the warmer weather with open arms and a refreshing favorite hell or high watermelon wheat

[01:18:25] Picture this a sunny day the smell of barbecue in the air and a cold crisp hell or high watermelon in your hand It's the ultimate summertime companion perfect for those unforgettable gatherings with friends and family

[01:18:39] But what makes hell or high watermelon so special? It's not just its bright straw color or tight white bubble No It's the subtle blend of wheat beer with the hint of sweet biscuit and a kiss of juicy

[01:18:50] Watermelon that sets it apart from the rest with its refreshing flavor and delightful light fruit notes Hell or high watermelon is bound to become your go-to summer beer and at just 4.9% ABV you can enjoy it all day long without missing a beat

[01:19:06] So when you're looking for that perfect beverage to complement those sunny days and backyard barbecues Look no further than hell or high watermelon wheat find it wherever great craft beer is sold and make this summer one to remember Yeah Here's the thing about Splash Mountain

[01:19:28] Is nobody cares like truly honestly No one cares because the ride is fundamentally the same and I've seen the ride throughout at Disney World. It looks great It looks really cool. There's a lot of colors and there's a lot there's a lot that's weird with it

[01:19:41] But a lot of it is it's arguably an improvement But if if the ride fundamentally is the same you still have the drop who cares? Nobody goes and rides that ride and go you know what I want to see is the Bears

[01:19:54] You know, but being lowered into the water or whatever nobody cares about I mean maybe The Amerik sings, you know animatronics at the end. That's kind of fun on the showboat, right? Other than that, it's just who cares it doesn't matter

[01:20:08] You know, there's no it doesn't matter doesn't matter The point of the ride is the you're cruising around and then you get the drop. That's the point of the ride Right. Well, I think it's kind of the same as as Tower of Terror slash Guardians where?

[01:20:22] Yeah, everyone was really mad and then it's kind of a better ride now, yeah It's the same exact ride but kind of a little better. I wouldn't know Audrey is shaking her head. Yeah, I guess because it's you could I just nailed myself in the elbow and

[01:20:45] Earnest it confirms Than the whole of its parts like yes, the ride is still physically the same but like ships paradox Maybe it's not the same now forget that ships paradox part that ship is safe like

[01:21:00] The ship has sunk. Yeah, I don't know you if you had the option between the two rides like I can't I mean, I haven't written the the new one yet, but I don't think I would care Because it's sort of like

[01:21:17] Casey jr. I like that ride. I don't really care what the cars were themed You know what? I mean, I don't go on for that I think there are some rides that you go on for the experience of the ride and

[01:21:26] Others you go on for the theming because the ride inherently kind of sucks I mean haunted mansion is a case in point There's nothing fancy to that ride, but you go there because it's a cool that's vibe

[01:21:36] It's a whole thing right the history there all this kind of stuff pirates kind of the same thing You're saying that those rides like you cannot separate the theming from the right itself. Yeah, yeah to intertwine Yeah, I think maybe I think haunted mansion is the theming

[01:21:51] Yeah, but the other time it's not And I'm gonna go back to my my point to what with Tower of Terror the both of those rides It's the drop that's that's the ride. So yeah, I don't think it matters which theme and to Audrey's point

[01:22:09] Yeah, if you were to pick which one you want and I'm kind of surprised I'm saying this but like for tower I would pick Guardians. I think it's more fun Linewise I'd rather stand in the line for Tower of Terror

[01:22:21] But riding the ride I'd rather ride Guardians for Splash Mountain. Of course. I have not ridden Tiana's yet, but I have a feeling Actually, I probably won't even write it cuz I don't like Splash Mountain. I do not like that drop

[01:22:33] I don't like that ride. I hate being wet the rest of the day There is no redeeming thing about that ride, but maybe Tiana would be I don't know. Yeah, maybe that's my thing Perhaps in true Disneyland fashion. They do a rare rabbit overlay For the holidays

[01:22:53] I think Where I've come with as far as the like need the social need to change it like I Think what I've come to and I realized that I might come off a certain way, but I where I've

[01:23:08] Come to with this is it's almost like the main the in the the Main Street Native American figure the wooden Indian guy that's on Main Street Yeah, it's like and we've talked about this on the shows before where it's just like okay

[01:23:20] if they were to remove that I would completely understand why and But at no point am I like why is this India still here? You know cuz I'm able to contextualize it at the same time if were to open

[01:23:37] If Disneyland were to reopen and it were never there. I don't think any reasonable person would be like why isn't there a wooden Indian? How else would I remember where the cigar store was you know what I mean like it's there's a way that I think

[01:23:54] people can look at it even by keeping Whatever it is that you that your your inclination of if you're going to say What pick aside in terms of whether it should change or not you could still have sort of an inclination towards either?

[01:24:10] direction, but at the end of the day be able to say like Not it wasn't an urgent thing, but I do kind of at least understand maybe where The change comes from even if I don't necessarily agree that it needed to happen. Well. Here's my stance

[01:24:27] This this park you know to Walt Disney's point is paraphrasing it'll never be complete cetera cetera When a child and you know we bring our kids our kids will hopefully bring their kids etc when a child goes on Pirates of the Caribbean

[01:24:44] Only having known these famous movies multi-billion dollar franchise If a child goes on Pirates of the Caribbean, and there's no Jack Sparrow like what are we doing like? Where's Jack Sparrow that's Pirates of the Caribbean

[01:24:58] When a child similarly would go on song that there's a splash about and it's like who are these people? What are they doing here? So why not introduce a character or characters that are relevant to this generation sure and to that point eventually

[01:25:13] You know our generation gets aged out, and then who goes on that ride who cares if it's like Alice is probably never gonna see Song of the South so by the time she's an adult with chat with children

[01:25:25] Why would she go on that ride the drop well because of the splash? That's where you go. Yeah, right Flumer I'm going to be a flumer zoomer Asher

[01:25:37] What do you think about my PE teacher has a really funny video on his phone of his son beating up piglet at Disneyland? All right, I'm sure that's I'm worried about the With the relevant yeah He's 10 years old anyway, that's are we taking oh, that's right

[01:26:01] Hey, you know what if you're a little bit squeamish about going on a ride with a long drop at the end Maybe you get a little nauseous. Maybe you're just a little nervous You can take yourself some dramamine beforehand. That's the generic name diamond hydranate

[01:26:17] It's it's an old-school Antiemetic it really kind of does the trick as far as nausea is concerned, but watch out for the side effects It'll make you it'll give you a dry mouth dry eyes Could make you drowsy So don't operate heavy machinery after that

[01:26:35] Maybe if you have a couple beers later on you want to watch out just because they're adding that together not a great Situation, but you are going down a log flume. So if you

[01:26:45] You get a little too dry mouth just just stick your hand over the edge and slosh some of that water right into your face You'll hit a bro. I'm playing an Eric

[01:26:55] Are you implying that if you were to take dramamine and then drink a beer you would be introducing a log flume scenario? Into your own life. Oh, oh my and of course don't take dramamine if you're allergic to dramamine

[01:27:10] For the dry mouth and dry eyes just keep your mouth open your eyes open while you're on the ride Look at your hands and arms All right, well, thank you guys for coming on the show and Participating and letting us know about the first flumer zoomer in

[01:27:28] Splash Mountain history. Thanks for having us. Oh, yeah, of course absolutely. Thank you. I'm told to play this music Oh Yeah, this is the Splash Mountain rap, right

[01:27:57] Well, that's our show everybody thank you very much for tuning in I really appreciate it if you are going to the parks at all If you're gonna go on a cruise or whatever contact concierge you go to concierge.com

[01:28:07] Don't ask for Jimmy because he will never leave you alone. He will try to move in while you are gone. He's a squatter he will move in claim squatters rights while you're gone and

[01:28:18] You know strengthen his empire and his hold across the southern part of the United States Anyway, thank you very much everybody and don't forget to check out scraping the vault Which is you know go to our website and learn about her you can wherever you find

[01:28:35] Your your classically hilarious and awesome And not long-winded podcasts like this one Scrape the ball as well. All right. Thank you for everybody and till next time